Got Scare

Hate you!

I Need You Now

Picture Perfect Memories Scattered All Around The Floor
Reachin' For The Phone 'cause I Can't Fight It Anymore
And I Wonder If I Ever Cross Your Mind
For Me It Happens All The Time

It's A Quarter After One, I'm All Alone And I Need You Now
Said I Wouldn't Call But I Lost All Control And I Need You Now
And I Don't Know How I Can Do Without
I Just Need You Now

Another Shot Of Whiskey Can't Stop Looking At The Door
Wishing You'd Come Sweeping In The Way You Did Before
And I Wonder If I Ever Cross Your Mind
For Me It Happens All The Time

It's A Quarter After One, I'm A Little Drunk And I Need You Now
Said I Wouldn't Call But I Lost All Control And I Need You Now
And I Don't Know How I Can Do Without
I Just Need You Now

Woah Woaaah.

Guess I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothin' At All
It's A Quarter After One I'm All Alone And I Need You Now
And I Said I Wouldn't Call But I Lost All Control And I Need You Now
And I Don't Know How I Can Do Without
I Just Need You Now
I Just Need You Now (wait)
Ooo, Baby, I Need You Now

觉得很疲累！

Headache + Weird

Is it because of last night's rain?
I am so headache now!! ARGH

不爱了也是一种爱

独自 走到你我相遇咖啡馆
记忆 早已不在这里转

熟悉位置空出一半
一个人有狠舒服的宽
你不在 就像画的留白

走过 分手路口不会再拐弯
曾经 伤心对白也风轻云淡

当承诺变承担 把期待等成了心酸
终於明白放手才会是最好的慷慨

原来不爱了也是一种爱
原来心痛也能被温柔对待
　　
阳光 透进来 把心打开 用释怀换个灿烂
不恨了 也是一种爱
祝福没有想像那麼难
在爱情的转弯
天空依然还是那麼蔚蓝


当承诺变承担 把期待等成了心酸
终於明白放手才会是最好的慷慨

原来不爱了也是一种爱
原来心痛也能被温柔对待
阳光 透进来 把心打开 用释怀换个灿烂
不恨了 也是一种爱
祝福没有想像那麼难
在爱情的转弯
天空依然还是那麼蔚蓝

相爱 总是那麼的困难 不爱也难 人就是 要这样走过来
原来不爱了也是一种爱
原来心痛也能被温柔对待
阳光 透进来 把心打开 用释怀换个灿烂
不恨了 也是一种爱
祝福没有想像那麼难
在爱情的转弯
天空依然还是那麼蔚蓝

03/04/2012

Today is another busy day
Got mistaken my class during Tutorial
Very funny
But nevermind, still manage to go to class

After that, booth duty
ARGH
I nearly kill people
Really
Haizzz
Really no eyes see

Busy whole day today
Meetings over meetings
Homeworks over homworks

Finally reached home now
10am out 12am reach home
Typical time!

别再哭了

伤心情歌播几遍了
你的眼还是红红的
生命总有些过客
现在不过多了一个
结束了何必再拉扯
有心事总该遗忘的
你听着听着又哭了
我明白的 谁都难免不舍
别再哭了 多不值得
笑一笑把 爱情看透彻
生活苦涩 该他负责
他会后悔 他做了这选择
别再哭了 多不值得
失去也是另一种获得
伤心情歌 不属你的
幸福 不一定非爱谁不可
难熬的 会经过的
爱错了 又能如何

Afraid

Prom Night tickets only sold for 20 tables
Still have 50 tables to go
Can I sell finish?
What should I do if I can't?

People keep on ignore me
I hate that
I want to help
But they keep thinking that I am useless
Is that I am so useless?

I really hate when people think that my effort is rubbish
I did what the best I can
I even contribute my health, my time, my energy, almost everything

Scare of losing faith and trust from people
Scare of another failure event


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JPA just banked in my elaun
Hopefully I can use the money well
Hope that it won't like last time

I still remember I keep on eat and buy stuff when I was unhappy
This time no matter how much I am so unhappy
I will not going to spend any penny
"Not anymore, to spend a penny on something like that," I warned myself

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exam is coming
I didn't really nervous yet
Maybe cause I have too many thing to do
But I started to worry

Everytime I go to class
I lost my focus

Either I am tired
Or something else that affects me
Then it will drag my emotion for the rest of the day

Really hate this feeling
Hate the feeling to be such stupid for something that is not worth

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prom Night is coming
How am I suppose to look like
With dress and make up stuff

Argh~~
Really~
Come on, I can't ease myself

I can't imagine
Especially when I am so stress lately

Am I going to be another clown that night?
Will people going to laugh at me just like Justin did?
Saying me that I am so NOT attractive and fat and so on

Well, maybe he didn't notice
I nearly cried everytime he said that
haha~
I guess I just like small kid
I still remember I cried everytime whenever people laugh at me cause I am fat
But dad scold me that I am idiot cause people's laugh won't hurt me
And I should be mature and cannot cry that easily

That's was the last time I cried in front of my parents
Besides got cane by them
That's the reason why I always cry by myself
That's the reason why I like to pretend I am fine in front of people

Even I can feel the sharp pain when he tease me
Well, I know he might just kidding
But I guess the jokes pretty sharp to me
You know what's funny?
I still can laugh and pretend nothing happen
I really can be an actress

Honestly, I know I am fatter than last time
Did I really so hidious?
He said that people like me, not to mention guys, even girl will not even interested

Guess I am really scare I will be another joke on the prom night itself

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can I actually rule the event?
I am going to be the main instructor that night
Can I actually make it works?
Can I cope with it?

I am worry and scare
People had lost faith on me
Can I finished the event like I dreamt?

I don't know
But I don't have the faith to myself either

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just been a stupid girl
I guess I am more towards silly girl

I should have suspected that today wasn't my day
Cause I knocked my leg on the door when I walked out the house
Tripped over when I cross the road

But really never thought it so accurate
My six-sense is sooo accurate

Nevermind
Whatever he said or he think or he do
Won't hurt me anymore
I promise myself
Never ever let anybody hurt me anymore

No matter how much I afraid
I will cope with it
Cause I know I can get over when I smile
I still have the smile
It still with me
Means I am save

I always love my smile no matter how scare I am
It's the only shield that can protect me
haha


No matter how afraid I am
Afraid of failure
Afraid of hurting
Afraid of losing

I will get my smile and up again ^^

Grastric

Pain~~~~

现在的心情

糟到快爆了
想哭去哭不出来
都不懂自己干吗geng在那里假装自己没事

无言 ~

好像出去走走
但是又怕预言变真的

困在这里
迟早闹出人命来

唉~~无奈~~

One of my Terrible Day

Well, I woke up and rushing for my tutorial homework around 9am
As I slept around 2am the night before
I just feeling like I am "flying" all around

After class, I went out to buy things and deal things with the vendors
Only that I realize I missed my booth duty
Argh
It's really really.. Haizzz.. don't know how to say
There are a slightly moment where I just want to just quit everything
Really

I don't like people to cover me
I want to help
But I can't
The more I help the more mistakes I made
Damn it ~!

Doing things for whole day
Then tuition
Then meeting

Get into the rain in the between
Get frozen in the meeting room
Then freeze by the strong wind during supper time
Then bathing half way no water
Waiting for the water to come is really torturing and cold

Today is really not my day
I think I really torture myself today
Tomorrow is presentation
I hope I can cope with it

Good luck
Wish for the best luck

I am NOT a super woman

There are something happening in Prom Night event
Seriously, I didn't know what's wrong
But I really don't like it

What the hell
Who she think she is?
You just a girlfriend of the director
Don't think that you are so good

Really
Joseph told me about your story
So
Don't try to show off that you are good
Come one, you are not even reach my fingertips

Now everyone consider me as a bad guy
you have your wish
But I know I didn't do anything wrong

You can just ignore me just like what I am ignoring you
It is your lost
If you didn't trust me so be it

I use my sincerely and commitment to do this event
Like it or not
I am here
Not trying to fight with you
But just trying to save the event

Really, sometime I just wish that I can just say "Son of bitch, shut your mouth up!"
But I consider you as a friend
Not sure whether you are treating me one
But sometime it is really hard to be patient with you





Regarding tennis club
Honestly, after what I discuss with Yao Yi
I not sure whether should I stay there anymore

I am not close with the committees
I don't like playing tennis anymore
It makes me think of something that I wasn't want to think off
I have somebody that hates me in the club

I don't really want to go back there
I am not fit in without him

Honestly I don't know what's the purpose for me staying there
Looking and seeing somebody that hates me so much
Or worst somebody that you trying to forget and let go
Is not really a good idea

Honestly, I not sure what am I doing now
I am clearly not worth for anybody to fight for

Just like what others said
I am not good enough
I am just a rubbish where people think I am a diamond

What happen today
Honestly I forget
But I don't know why
People sound like it's my fault for not getting a partition and a table
I did booked that day after meeting
I didn't even delayed
FMD didn't have any tables and partitions
Not my fault!
I didn't own MMU
Why everyone like accusing me?

Maybe I shouldn't trying to be tough and promise them I will try to find one for them with other clubs
Sometime trying too hard just make myself in tough situation
Tennis club and prom night is just the same
People expecting you

But when you did one wrong
They blame you like you are just a useless person

I am just a stupid girl


I wonder why I am so down lately
I become really sensitive to what people said and what people do
Is it stress?


I am really not a super woman
I didn't plan for my life
I didn't choose what I been to
But really, I am kinda unhappy lately
I can't talk to anyone
share with anybody
Kinda sad isn't it?
Or should I say I am so stupid?

I exclude him from my favourite list
I keep my promise
I know he don't wish to see me or near close to me
Nor do I
I am not ready

I am not quite sure why I am not ready
Maybe I don't like making myself digging the big hole in the chest
I don't like to feel the pain
I don't even like to flash back

Whatever it is
I wish I can go home
With somebody loving me taking care of me

I miss them so much
I cried sometime in the middle of the night
Flashing back on how they taking care of me when I was sick or when I was exam

I am not a superwoman
I am just a girl that trying hard to prove that she is good
I just trying not to let people look down on me
I want to prove that I am worthwhile
I am a better person

At the end, I am not
I failed
I am really not a superwoman

You and Me

promises

I made my promise
And I have to keep it

Suddenly feel that it is really hard
Still..

I promise you and I will do it
Can you?
Or you already forget?

Still Not Recovering

Maybe I should just end up sleeping 24 hours
Damn~
Head still spinning
I can't take medicine
And I don't want go to hospital

Damn~
Pray hard to recover

Tired Like Hell

Seriously, I am tired like hell
Events and homework
Really can pengsan

Yesterday AGM really frustrated me to the Max!
Damn~
Really frustrated and mad until I can feel the difficulty of breathing
At the end I say nothing and ignore things that not under my control

Sudden fever last night
Can't sleep at all
Don't know why
Is it because of the stress and stuff or just because I am hell not feeling well
I cried
I just wish that I am home and my parents will just fetch me to see my doctor
But there is nothing I can do here in Malacca
Even though I know crying is not helping
Yet, I am just like a baby
Immature

Yet, there is nobody for me to find
At the end, I called Justin
I am damn sorry
Well, I am not really expecting this
Damn~
I think I did something wrong

He was at KL Movida that time
After the call, he rush back to Melacca within 1 hour
Damn~
Well, I didn't ask him to
And I told him NOT TO
But still 3am he reached my house but that time I think I fall asleep already

I am so sorry for letting you drive 140km/h after you drink
I am so sorry
I didn't really mean to

I just can say I am glad to have a brother that cares about me
But
I don't want another best friend that cannot be friend anymore
I lost 2 I don't want to lost another one

This time
I am going to protect my friendship
Not letting it turning to another sad story

刺痛的心

Don't Want Don't Want!!

I Wish I can Cry Now

Justin, you said I can cry in front of you
You said you will be there for me
But
I'm sorry that I can't
I'm really not used to do that

But
Now
I wish I can just cry out

Valentine

First Valentine
But seems like it's nothing big deal about it

I just want to make things special
I tried to make it a special day
even I didn't want any present

I tried
But didn't think you have the same concept as I did
Maybe you should know that not flowers or gifts will give me what I want
All I want is that you want to make it a special day

I cleaned your room
Cooked your favourite dishes
What did you do beside ignoring me?

Happy Valentine Day by the way