well.. it is pretty hard to say what is going on here.. it is a pretty long story..
sometimes it is hard for me to explain everything.. when i mention everything.. i meant everything.. sometime guys just have to be more sensitive.. but i know most of the time it is beyond their ability.. like they are some living things that do not understand..
somehow.. i feel the change.. i feel the tiredness.. i feel everything..
its changing and i began to realize it.. did you?
I don't know which I would rather believe... that you never did care or that you eventually stopped.
Sometime you asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything is.
everything is.. just that you do not realize it.. apparently you do not understand.. am i an idiot? or just waiting something miracle to happen?
well.. it is miracle.. means it is mostly toward the impossibility..
So hold my hand, just one more time, so I can remind myself why it is that I can't get over you.
let me remind myself why you are the chosen one..
let me remind myself why i love you..
let me remind myself why i used to rely on you..
at least let me recall why...
so that i would allow myself to love you again..
so that i have the strength to continue this..
sometime i cried.. not because i miss you.. or even wanted you.. but because i realized that i am going to be alright without you..
you seems to invisible to me.. or worst..
i just want the feeling back..
but i am so tired and feed up giving forgiveness and trust without somebody earning it..
maybe sometime you will never know what you have until you lost it.. and once you lose it.. you can never get it back.. yet.. you still haven't earn that..
that's why sometime i will just hold my head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye.. letting it go.. because sometime i can't stand the pain and disappointed, maybe it is the time for my last tear to fall and smile again..
