frustrated day

What a angry day...
i am so frustrated with you...
so angry and frustrated...
you never ever try to learn how to know me..
all you know is what you want...
always is you you you...
it never be what i like..
always is what you like and what you want..
cant you sometime think of what i really want?



i really hope that sometime you cares about how i feel when you scold me...
i really hope you can do something more usefull rather that this..
i really hope all these can happen..
don't you think you are the queen of the world...
cause you aren't...
it is all because we let you to win,...
it doesn't mean you right all the time...
nobody ever right all the time...
not even the genius one...




sometime i am so lonely at home..
nobody to talk..
not even a single soul who can really listen to me...
listen to what i want...
how i feel..
i was so tired hiding my feelings..
can i still hiding?
can i hold it?
should i let it out?
i wonder and always doubt that...

another frustrated and dissappointed day..

like winter of the day

my terible and horible life...
boring stiff...
nothing to do everyday..
for me...
it is really a wasting of time..
it is almost like the winter of the day...
so terible horible and vegetable...
sometime i wish i can find something really usefull to do everyday...
at least i am not wasting of time..

these few months..
it is kinda tortucher...
my godness...
always stay at home...
it is really boring and useless...
i wonder when i can get to study again.,
well..
at least ...
i have something to do...

the only thing that can make me happy is my accounts and some books....
this is the time when i feel myself is usefull...
feel myself din waste times...
somehow...
there is always boring...


i dont want to watch movies..
don't want to online...
don't want to play games...
not everyday...



try imagine that everyday doing the same thing...
my godness...
people can die there...
haix...

i hope this winter no longer stay around me..
i hope to find something really useful to myself..

Maybe You Should Think of Yourself Sometimes

being self-fish for certain reason can be accepted...
sometimes...
you don't have to take so serious about the other feelings...
sometimes..
you don't push yourself so hard to make some other happy especially your love..
do you realise that really hurt all of you..
she and you...
why you have to make so many people together suffer with you?
is this the way to show that you love her?

my godness..
everytime she went out..
your blog will comes out many sad thing...
as it is your end of day..
aren't you think this is too over?


Maybe your friends is right..
being self-fish sometime doesn't hurt anybody...
for me..
it is time for you to think for yourself...
cause you really need it..
and you really have to..

Maybe you think you can't let it go...
but for your information..
you have to..
you really have to let it go...
no matter how hard...
no matter how you feel..
because that is no way both of you can be together...
the thruth...
and you know it...


I care about her...
a lots..
i don't want her to get hurt anymore...
i don't want she getting much more trouble as she already had...
i want to protect her...
i want to help her...
so...
if i may...
i would like to ask you to stop...
everything...
make yourself happy...

i cares about you both..
both...
that's why i want you to let go...
you know as well as i do..
both of you is going to seperate soon..
when time is coming...
you know it..
and it is getting near...

as my advice..
maybe it is time for you to be self-fish sometime..
let it go..
it is good for everybody..
especially you..
this relationship is totally unhealthy..
you her and i know that...

she cant tell you..
she din't dare to..
me either...
so...
i hope you can take care...
take care..
please be happy..
no more sadness..
i don't want any of you..
neither her nor you get hurt...
i want all of you to be happy like i wish..
like you wish...
be a good friend is more than enough..
please let it go..
before...
before it is too late...

no more feelings?

yesterday night... his reply din actually make me feel anything...
no excitement..
no nervous...
no happiness...
nothing...
what is going on...
if i am missing him like i thought...
i should be happy...
instead of nothing...
my god...
what is actually my thought right now?
am i still like him or not?
no more feelings?
no more liking?

i had spend most of my time to tell myself i don't like him anymore...
and now..
when i really feel like i don't like him anymore...
i feel bad...
feel sad...
feel sorry...
what is going on to me?
just a message reply already turn me back...
make me change everything...
it shuoldn't like that...
i should stand for what i am...
it shouldn't be changed...
not by just a short messega without any concern about you...
it should not be...

what should i really do right now?
i dun really know what i am thinking..

first time

this is my first time being here...
well.. this is not my first time writing a blog...
but it is the first time i am using blogger...
haha..
i hope i can get use to be here...
haha...