Frankly speaking,
There is 3 things in my mind that I am super duper worry
1. midterms, Can I finish revising?
2. my health, What the hell is wrong with my asthma or heart?
3. my birthday, worry that he will overspent the money
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
No Forces
It's like kinda pressure to have my own birthday celebration
Well, honestly, just forget about it
Really no forces
I mean, I just want to get that opportunity to have fun
So, don't have to like force or what
Seriously, it's just a birthday
Just a normal dinner will do
Maybe no dinner and straight to Mixx also nevermind
It's cool
Really don't have to do like I have to have people to celebrate with me
Since I know it's a peak season that time
So, really
No force
No pressure
^^
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Recall
Looked back my 20th birthday
Honestly, that night was really really one of the greatest night ever
Except a small moment of that
I was like the happiest girl in the world
Honestly, that night was really really one of the greatest night ever
Except a small moment of that
I was like the happiest girl in the world
I guess that time I did look thin and nice
Making wish and I love the cake very much
3 sistas that celebrate with me
My true blood sister
My 38 sista that crazy together, love her much!!
My gor gor that did a lot of crazy things together with me
My beloved darling, doesn't we look cute together?
With everyone with me
Receiving presents
Receiving wishes from everyone
Doing things that I loved so much
Everyone is loving me
Seriously, I am the most happiest girl in the world
Suddenly
I kinda looking forward for my 21st birthday
Even though I didn't really have any vision on it
Maybe I am afraid of dissapointment
Or maybe I didn't dare to wish more than it
I guess I am happy
I will be happy on my birthday
Cause everyone love me so much!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Rain Walk
After everything happened
I really really have no mood
But still I need to go to STAD for prom night matters
Kak Nita want me to redo the letter
I wish that I able to finish up the letter today as tonight there is a meeting with others
I need a computer and printed on the spot
He suggested to Miss Lim's room
But she wasn't there
Then he suggested Mr. Liew's room
Honestly, that wasn't a very good idea
Really wasn't a good idea
I pretend that I finished everything and left
Then I headed to FBL LAB
Guess what?
He claimed that the line sucks
Then I think God like to make joke on me
After everything is done
And when I wanted to save the document
The Fucking computer restart
And guess what?
EVERYTHING IS GONE
I MEAN GONE
FUCK MMU !
And guess what happened?
He was being very frustrated and asked me to go home and do
4.30pm is late
Well, I really wanted to finish it
Then I asked him go back first since he didn't want to be there at the first place
He thinks that being there is bored and fucked up
Guess what?!
He really left
ha Ha HA
Tell me that he must be joking
After 5 mins the lab was closed
He left
And I walked home
I can't figure out why our relationship can become like that
I mean he used to do things with me no matter what I did
He used to be with me no matter what I want to go or do
NoW?
He said that its my problem
My temper problem makes him don't like to be around with me
So now it is my problem
I mean, am I really wasn't that good?
I read some articles mention about how both guy and girl fall in love
Where both of them will willing to do anything for each other
I felt tired cause I don't feel that he willing to do anything
I mean, he did it by force
Not because that he feels that he wanted to do
Is it my problem?
What should I change?
Tell me GOD
Please tell me where did I did wrong?!
Walking around under the rain
Feeling weird is the rain never hit me
Is this a comfort from GOD ?
I know I wasn't pray that much lately
I know I don't believe in GOD as much as I do last time
Is this the reason I being punished?
I know I scold people a lot
I know I complaint a lot
I know
Is this the reason I being punisheD?
Somebody tell me?
I really really have no mood
But still I need to go to STAD for prom night matters
Kak Nita want me to redo the letter
I wish that I able to finish up the letter today as tonight there is a meeting with others
I need a computer and printed on the spot
He suggested to Miss Lim's room
But she wasn't there
Then he suggested Mr. Liew's room
Honestly, that wasn't a very good idea
Really wasn't a good idea
I pretend that I finished everything and left
Then I headed to FBL LAB
Guess what?
He claimed that the line sucks
Then I think God like to make joke on me
After everything is done
And when I wanted to save the document
The Fucking computer restart
And guess what?
EVERYTHING IS GONE
I MEAN GONE
FUCK MMU !
And guess what happened?
He was being very frustrated and asked me to go home and do
4.30pm is late
Well, I really wanted to finish it
Then I asked him go back first since he didn't want to be there at the first place
He thinks that being there is bored and fucked up
Guess what?!
He really left
ha Ha HA
Tell me that he must be joking
After 5 mins the lab was closed
He left
And I walked home
I can't figure out why our relationship can become like that
I mean he used to do things with me no matter what I did
He used to be with me no matter what I want to go or do
NoW?
He said that its my problem
My temper problem makes him don't like to be around with me
So now it is my problem
I mean, am I really wasn't that good?
I read some articles mention about how both guy and girl fall in love
Where both of them will willing to do anything for each other
I felt tired cause I don't feel that he willing to do anything
I mean, he did it by force
Not because that he feels that he wanted to do
Is it my problem?
What should I change?
Tell me GOD
Please tell me where did I did wrong?!
Walking around under the rain
Feeling weird is the rain never hit me
Is this a comfort from GOD ?
I know I wasn't pray that much lately
I know I don't believe in GOD as much as I do last time
Is this the reason I being punished?
I know I scold people a lot
I know I complaint a lot
I know
Is this the reason I being punisheD?
Somebody tell me?
iPad Lost
ipad lost today
On the way back from Kluang to Melaka
Seriously, I never thought that it can just lost like that
I mean, I always remember it
I saw him holding it during the sleep
When I asked him to put in the jacket
I assume him already put it into the bag
I mean, he was holding
How the hell on earth can he didn't notice that?
When he came down from bus
His hand is empty
Yet he was the last person to get down
Logically, nobody will take the ipad
If it lost, it means the driver took it
When he told me that he didn't take the ipad
He assume it was with me
Honestly, I knew it was gone
But I still want to believe that it still hope
Yet, I can't able to get to the station on the spot cause I with his adopted parents
I wasn't really in mood
Yes, I wasn't in mood cause I am really really really never thought this can happen
I never thought something so expensive ever lost
I know it wasn't mine
I didn't pay a penny but it is something that shouldn't happen
Yet, the person who pay the money seems like nothing happen
That's why I cried
I mean, what is this?
He told me that, assume this is a lesson
A lesson
A lesson that I kept on reminding and reminding again and again
You will need to pay RM2000 to learn such lesson?!
And then I am the one who being a bad guy
To be emotion
To be unhappy
To be frustrated?!
I mean the fucking ipad cost over RM2000 and you assume it to be NOTHING?!
And yet I got an advice of
"It's RM2000, take it as lesson, maybe in the future you lost something more expensive like RM10,000"
Seriously, it that thing cost RM10,000 it will be stolen not lost
I didn't want to blame him as its his fault
But
But
He is like acting nothing happen
And he blame that its the medicine fault
The medicine that make him blurry
I mean, seriously?
Is it medicine problem or his problem?
GOD
Please give me the strength to face what is happening
Please give me the patient to deal with that is going on
Please give me the kindness to forgive
Please
I wish that I have that kind of kindness to forgive a lesson of RM2000
and forgive a person who blame medicine
and assume nothing happen as RM2000 is gone
On the way back from Kluang to Melaka
Seriously, I never thought that it can just lost like that
I mean, I always remember it
I saw him holding it during the sleep
When I asked him to put in the jacket
I assume him already put it into the bag
I mean, he was holding
How the hell on earth can he didn't notice that?
When he came down from bus
His hand is empty
Yet he was the last person to get down
Logically, nobody will take the ipad
If it lost, it means the driver took it
When he told me that he didn't take the ipad
He assume it was with me
Honestly, I knew it was gone
But I still want to believe that it still hope
Yet, I can't able to get to the station on the spot cause I with his adopted parents
I wasn't really in mood
Yes, I wasn't in mood cause I am really really really never thought this can happen
I never thought something so expensive ever lost
I know it wasn't mine
I didn't pay a penny but it is something that shouldn't happen
Yet, the person who pay the money seems like nothing happen
That's why I cried
I mean, what is this?
He told me that, assume this is a lesson
A lesson
A lesson that I kept on reminding and reminding again and again
You will need to pay RM2000 to learn such lesson?!
And then I am the one who being a bad guy
To be emotion
To be unhappy
To be frustrated?!
I mean the fucking ipad cost over RM2000 and you assume it to be NOTHING?!
And yet I got an advice of
"It's RM2000, take it as lesson, maybe in the future you lost something more expensive like RM10,000"
Seriously, it that thing cost RM10,000 it will be stolen not lost
I didn't want to blame him as its his fault
But
But
He is like acting nothing happen
And he blame that its the medicine fault
The medicine that make him blurry
I mean, seriously?
Is it medicine problem or his problem?
GOD
Please give me the strength to face what is happening
Please give me the patient to deal with that is going on
Please give me the kindness to forgive
Please
I wish that I have that kind of kindness to forgive a lesson of RM2000
and forgive a person who blame medicine
and assume nothing happen as RM2000 is gone
Saturday, December 1, 2012
不想理会的原因
不想理会的原因
1，“合同”
2，时常发脾气的我
看来是我的错
是我做的不够好
是我应该忍耐
是我应该把脾气收敛好
有没有人会设计一个人脑电子版？
请你安置在我的脑力
然后重新设置一个全新的我
好让我变成他的理想情人
温柔体贴
脾气温顺
魔鬼身材
时尚打扮
进得厨房出得厅堂
完美的女人
让他的个人世界
让他的内心世界没有怨言，没有无奈，没有无助
让他的生活圈子没有丢脸和带不出门的女人
为他的生活充满了乐趣，开心
而不是烦恼，懊恼
我的错
是我的不好
原来我不让你理会的原因
到头来是我自找的
1，“合同”
2，时常发脾气的我
看来是我的错
是我做的不够好
是我应该忍耐
是我应该把脾气收敛好
有没有人会设计一个人脑电子版？
请你安置在我的脑力
然后重新设置一个全新的我
好让我变成他的理想情人
温柔体贴
脾气温顺
魔鬼身材
时尚打扮
进得厨房出得厅堂
完美的女人
让他的个人世界
让他的内心世界没有怨言，没有无奈，没有无助
让他的生活圈子没有丢脸和带不出门的女人
为他的生活充满了乐趣，开心
而不是烦恼，懊恼
我的错
是我的不好
原来我不让你理会的原因
到头来是我自找的
First Time
I guess everyone has his or her first time
Well, I have mine
And what is the first time?
First time having facial treatment
Seriously, it WAS FUCKING PAINFUL
Honestly, she was shocked when she know I have totally no clean and clear products
And she was surprise of me having no make up product as well ]
And a lot of stuff that surprise her
She was telling me I am the one of the limited kind of girl left in this world
Sorry to say, maybe I am
The lady was helping me to clean up the face stuff
The "black spot" and some of the pimples
Then I got a "special case" where really really am painful
Yet, it's not as much painful when she is "treating" my nose pimples cause I didn't "clean" it well
I tears up
Cause it was FUCKING PAINFUL
Seriously I learned my lesson
Starting from now I really need to protect my skin
It's not about what
It's because I don't want, I swear to GOD I really don't want to get through the treatment AGAIN!
First time facial treatment and first time mask user!
Really that kind of mask with treatment not the kind of paper stuff
Of course I slept during that time
Cause there is really nothing to do
OK
I getting more and more lady now
As she said, I can't be 18 forever
Fine fine fine
I started to cure my hair last month
This month started with with my skin
And seriously, for god sake, it is really expensive!!!
ThiNK about it again and again!!!
MONEY MONEY MONEY
TIME TIME TIME
PATIENT PATIENT PATIENT
All that I don't have!
Congratuation girl!
GOOD LUCK!
Well, I have mine
And what is the first time?
First time having facial treatment
Seriously, it WAS FUCKING PAINFUL
Honestly, she was shocked when she know I have totally no clean and clear products
And she was surprise of me having no make up product as well ]
And a lot of stuff that surprise her
She was telling me I am the one of the limited kind of girl left in this world
Sorry to say, maybe I am
The lady was helping me to clean up the face stuff
The "black spot" and some of the pimples
Then I got a "special case" where really really am painful
Yet, it's not as much painful when she is "treating" my nose pimples cause I didn't "clean" it well
I tears up
Cause it was FUCKING PAINFUL
Seriously I learned my lesson
Starting from now I really need to protect my skin
It's not about what
It's because I don't want, I swear to GOD I really don't want to get through the treatment AGAIN!
First time facial treatment and first time mask user!
Really that kind of mask with treatment not the kind of paper stuff
Of course I slept during that time
Cause there is really nothing to do
OK
I getting more and more lady now
As she said, I can't be 18 forever
Fine fine fine
I started to cure my hair last month
This month started with with my skin
And seriously, for god sake, it is really expensive!!!
ThiNK about it again and again!!!
MONEY MONEY MONEY
TIME TIME TIME
PATIENT PATIENT PATIENT
All that I don't have!
Congratuation girl!
GOOD LUCK!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Overwhelm Flatter
I got a Facebook Message last night
I was sleeping like shit and didn't notice about it until this morning
Hi Teng Ang
I'm Helen
Nice to meet you
I'm a make up teacher. Currently I'm looking girls to be mine make up model for my before and after make up photo shooting album collection event. You look pretty in your photos and I found you are suitable and meeting mine requirements. Are you interested to be my make up model? Please feel free to reply if you were interested.
cheers
Helen
SERIOUSLY?!
I am so dead
I mean people said I look nice in the picture
SHIT SHIT SHIT
Profile picture is angel shooting
Of course it looks nice!
It's like the best of the most picture only people use it for profile picture
SHOT SHOT SHOT
I am SO DEAD!
So, here goes my reply:
Hi, Sorry for late reply last night.
Well, I was really overwhelmed by this unexpected favour that you asked for. I kinda afraid that I can't really helped you much as I don't really know how to make up and stuff.. Plus, I doesn't look that nice as shown in the picture, kinda afraid that you might get dissapointed.. And I do notice that you are from Penang, I currently still studying in Melaka. I am afraid that I can't make it for your album shooting cause of the distance problem. Unless you really don't mind about it
Please say you mind
Please say you mind
Please say you mind
I am so not a model people
I AM F***ING SO NOT
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Selfish, Reckless, Egotist
I mean that's you
You never consider about anybody
Most of the time or ALL the time you were thinking about YOURSELF
Honestly, it's not only to me
To anybody
Maybe you are kind to me
But honestly, you are not
Dinner with people
Yes, they owe you a favour
They treat you
You ordered expensive stuff?
And you mention that you will order it too even you paid yourself?
Really? Is that true?
You are just the same as my sister
I ordered cheaper stuff cause I knew you will ordered something expensive
Drive issue
Driving so fast even though I will be car-sick?
And even after I asking you to slow down?
Then all you asked is, "Don't you want to be home earlier?"
Really?!
I know you are tired
I know why you drove so fast
But seriously
Ignore the matter of fact that I will be car-sick
Did you ever consider of penalties or fees charged for high speed?
Somemore is people's car
Did you ever consider that something might happened by driving that fast?
You not even driving that kind of speed daily
I mean
Just because you are tired
You want to rush home and you never bother about anything
Same thing goes for the incident during library
I was complaining there were no sound from the earphone
And what you did?
Still remember?!
You were like pulling it straight from my head
WTF?!
Honestly, I was fucking irritating
What was that?!
Did you ever consider that it HURTS?!
But all you think is you want to fix the thing and stop my complaining
During the Jonker
You complaint that I was putting on temper again
Look, let's make things clear
People don't get upset by its own
IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING HAPPEN!
I mean is that so hard to walk with me?
It's like you feel boring and frustrated
I know it was hot
But for god sake
It's JONKER
Ignore the matter of fact that it was in Jonker
Even movies doesn't make any difference
Still remember that first morning I reached Melaka?
I woke up around 9am plus
And you wanted to watch 11am movie
And your reason is there is nothing for us to do if the movie is on 6pm or 8pm
Seriously, what the fuck is that?!
I just want to spend some time with you
And that's what you said to me
Then only I know the main reason is morning have discounted price
JUST BECAUSE you wanted to save the RM4
You wanted me to go movie after 6 hours night bus around 11am
Seriously?!
Now you were saying about me putting temper
Keeping all those stuff in one
Honestly, it's not about what I didn't say
It's about what you didn't posses
You didn't even listen
It's not I didn't say what is the problem
Is the matter that you didn't feel that it is a problem
You think the only problem is ME
Your FUCKING irritating, annoying, concurring girlfriend who never tolerate you, never care about you and never put herself on your stand and keep ruin the environment
You never consider about anybody
Most of the time or ALL the time you were thinking about YOURSELF
Honestly, it's not only to me
To anybody
Maybe you are kind to me
But honestly, you are not
Dinner with people
Yes, they owe you a favour
They treat you
You ordered expensive stuff?
And you mention that you will order it too even you paid yourself?
Really? Is that true?
You are just the same as my sister
I ordered cheaper stuff cause I knew you will ordered something expensive
Drive issue
Driving so fast even though I will be car-sick?
And even after I asking you to slow down?
Then all you asked is, "Don't you want to be home earlier?"
Really?!
I know you are tired
I know why you drove so fast
But seriously
Ignore the matter of fact that I will be car-sick
Did you ever consider of penalties or fees charged for high speed?
Somemore is people's car
Did you ever consider that something might happened by driving that fast?
You not even driving that kind of speed daily
I mean
Just because you are tired
You want to rush home and you never bother about anything
Same thing goes for the incident during library
I was complaining there were no sound from the earphone
And what you did?
Still remember?!
You were like pulling it straight from my head
WTF?!
Honestly, I was fucking irritating
What was that?!
Did you ever consider that it HURTS?!
But all you think is you want to fix the thing and stop my complaining
During the Jonker
You complaint that I was putting on temper again
Look, let's make things clear
People don't get upset by its own
IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING HAPPEN!
I mean is that so hard to walk with me?
It's like you feel boring and frustrated
I know it was hot
But for god sake
It's JONKER
Ignore the matter of fact that it was in Jonker
Even movies doesn't make any difference
Still remember that first morning I reached Melaka?
I woke up around 9am plus
And you wanted to watch 11am movie
And your reason is there is nothing for us to do if the movie is on 6pm or 8pm
Seriously, what the fuck is that?!
I just want to spend some time with you
And that's what you said to me
Then only I know the main reason is morning have discounted price
JUST BECAUSE you wanted to save the RM4
You wanted me to go movie after 6 hours night bus around 11am
Seriously?!
Now you were saying about me putting temper
Keeping all those stuff in one
Honestly, it's not about what I didn't say
It's about what you didn't posses
You didn't even listen
It's not I didn't say what is the problem
Is the matter that you didn't feel that it is a problem
You think the only problem is ME
Your FUCKING irritating, annoying, concurring girlfriend who never tolerate you, never care about you and never put herself on your stand and keep ruin the environment
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I lied
I lied to Juin How that I will be fine
I lied to him that I am fine
NO
I am so NOT fine
I want to cry
I want him to bring me out
Out of here
But I guess he can't
So I lied
I am sorry
I can't let anybody worry
I have to be strong
I am sorry for lying
I lied to him that I am fine
NO
I am so NOT fine
I want to cry
I want him to bring me out
Out of here
But I guess he can't
So I lied
I am sorry
I can't let anybody worry
I have to be strong
I am sorry for lying
Dress Day 2
Well, today it's time for shopping
But I am not that happy to be around with her
I found some dress
But it suppose to be RM60 plus minus the shop sell RM200
Then the stories kept going
I guess I don't have to say much
Nothing end up nice
We did found some dresses
Cheap and not bad one
But
I doesn't look like last time where most of the clothes are fine
I look plummy
Know what did my sister said?
"You are fat, of course it looks fat"
"Come on, you wear what also look fat cause you are fat man"
When I come back home
My dad was trying to make joke
But it wasn't funny
It was hurt
It IS hurt
"You can't find any dress is either your stomach shown or your shoulder looks fat"
Even my mother doesn't help much
"I have to remind you, during your internship, you will gain more weight"
Weight
Weight
Weight
I gain weight doesn't cause any problem to anybody
I gain weight doesn't affect anybody
Why you guys have to do this to me?
My boyfriend
I know he cares
He mentioned it before
HE just pretend that he doesn't care
I mean
Why everyone so care about it so much?
I don't hate my look
I don't hate my weight
I am happy with it
But I feel like I going back again with my primary school life where everyone is talking about my weight
WHY?
WHY?
I feel like want to cry
But I have to pretend like nothing happen
I want to be strong
But I really really want to find a place to cry
Can I?
NO
I know I can't
But I am not that happy to be around with her
I found some dress
But it suppose to be RM60 plus minus the shop sell RM200
Then the stories kept going
I guess I don't have to say much
Nothing end up nice
We did found some dresses
Cheap and not bad one
But
I doesn't look like last time where most of the clothes are fine
I look plummy
Know what did my sister said?
"You are fat, of course it looks fat"
"Come on, you wear what also look fat cause you are fat man"
When I come back home
My dad was trying to make joke
But it wasn't funny
It was hurt
It IS hurt
"You can't find any dress is either your stomach shown or your shoulder looks fat"
Even my mother doesn't help much
"I have to remind you, during your internship, you will gain more weight"
Weight
Weight
Weight
I gain weight doesn't cause any problem to anybody
I gain weight doesn't affect anybody
Why you guys have to do this to me?
My boyfriend
I know he cares
He mentioned it before
HE just pretend that he doesn't care
I mean
Why everyone so care about it so much?
I don't hate my look
I don't hate my weight
I am happy with it
But I feel like I going back again with my primary school life where everyone is talking about my weight
WHY?
WHY?
I feel like want to cry
But I have to pretend like nothing happen
I want to be strong
But I really really want to find a place to cry
Can I?
NO
I know I can't
Monday, November 12, 2012
Dress Day 1
Shopping and looking for dinner dresses day 1
Honestly, I doesn't like it
Yesterday I went shopping in AutoCity with my sister
Due to the reason that she had broke up with her boyfriend
Fine
I went with her
And she found 2 dresses
And I accompanied her walking around
When we reached any shop
She is the one choosing and testing
She don't even bother about me
While I am the one giving her opinion and helping her carry stuff
Some more I paid for her
Today, mother urge me to get a dress
I went to Jusco
But the fucking bitch was talking phone with another guy
Seriously, she just broke up and she was planning to sub a line under another guy
What is the matter of her?
But who cares anyway?
She already with the another guy even they haven't broke up
So I just don't mind
But she was talking phone with that guy all the time and didn't even bother to look at me
Or even help me to choose
When I asked her to help me choose
Her answer was "you choose yourself, not that you don't have your own eyes"
Seriously?
I found a dress
I kinda like it so much
I spotted it long time ago
But never dare to try
Finally I tried
Yeap, I looked fat on the shoulder
But the lady took a jacket for me
Then my sister comment was "not even nice, it's not the dress problem, its your problem"
I was totally no comment
When I reached home
My sister told my mother that the dress drawing too much attention so I shouldn't buy
HaHAHA
I really really really no comment
draw too much of attention
Seriously?!
Honestly, I doesn't like it
Yesterday I went shopping in AutoCity with my sister
Due to the reason that she had broke up with her boyfriend
Fine
I went with her
And she found 2 dresses
And I accompanied her walking around
When we reached any shop
She is the one choosing and testing
She don't even bother about me
While I am the one giving her opinion and helping her carry stuff
Some more I paid for her
Today, mother urge me to get a dress
I went to Jusco
But the fucking bitch was talking phone with another guy
Seriously, she just broke up and she was planning to sub a line under another guy
What is the matter of her?
But who cares anyway?
She already with the another guy even they haven't broke up
So I just don't mind
But she was talking phone with that guy all the time and didn't even bother to look at me
Or even help me to choose
When I asked her to help me choose
Her answer was "you choose yourself, not that you don't have your own eyes"
Seriously?
I found a dress
I kinda like it so much
I spotted it long time ago
But never dare to try
Finally I tried
Yeap, I looked fat on the shoulder
But the lady took a jacket for me
Then my sister comment was "not even nice, it's not the dress problem, its your problem"
I was totally no comment
When I reached home
My sister told my mother that the dress drawing too much attention so I shouldn't buy
HaHAHA
I really really really no comment
draw too much of attention
Seriously?!
What do you think about it?
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I hate YOU
I hate people put an image on me
I hate my own sister to say this thing on me
I hate my own mother to do this on me
Seriously,
I am not pretty as you
I am not as sporty as you
But you don't have to say me like that
"I am a cold speaker?"
FUCK YOU !
"I am not an attracker?"
ASS HOLE!!
I really hate you sometimes!!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
如果你明白
其实女人跟着你就是要你疼的
女孩喜欢上了男人，对他很好，是很好的那种。她给他洗衣服，收拾房间，早晨买早点给他，小鸟依人的靠在男人身边。男人觉得有人这样无微不至的照顾是件很惬意的事情，于是他们顺理成章地在一起。男人习惯有女孩在身边的日子，可后来，女孩就离开了，是当男人在睡梦中的时候。
男人讲完之后一脸茫然的问我：“你说，我哪里做错了！我给她钱买化妆品，有人欺负她，我把那人揍了个半死，我这么爱她，她为什么就走了呢？”
我安静的听完他的故事，没办法给这个疑惑的男人一个满意的答案。我们从咖啡店走出来，过马路时男人瞅一个空挡便快步跑到对面向车流这边的我招手催我过去。我有些无奈的笑了。
我问男人是不是不愿意牵女孩的手。他说在家抱抱可以，在外面多不好意思啊。我说他过马路时一定比女孩快，他点头说你怎么知道？我说女孩在刷碗扫地的时候，他一定是悠闲的看着电视。男人摸着头说自己似乎明白了。我说，如果明白了就去挽回吧。
希望男人是真的明白了。
其实很多女人外表很坚强，内心却还是柔弱，需要男人呵护的。她不在乎你给了她多少钱，却会永远记得你调皮的从路边花坛偷回的那朵放到她手中的月季花。她在厨房忙碌的时候，你从身后送来的一个吻会让她觉得幸福甜蜜。你们过马路时候，在左边的你紧紧握住她的手，不论是什么年纪，都会让她觉得很安全。
世界上女人很多，美丽的、温柔的、聪明的、可爱的……可无论什么类型的女人，期待幸福的心情都是一样的。所以她们等待着一个男人的出现，等着这个男人对她们好。
其实女人期待的对自己好，是件很简单的事情。
她只希望自己的男人不要因为忙碌而忘记她的生日。想听他在耳边轻声说句“快乐吧，我的宝贝。”这时玫瑰也可以省略。她只希望做家务累的时候，他轻轻抚摩自己的额头说声“宝贝，喝了牛奶再睡吧。”即使对于家务男人一窍不通。她只希望害怕或者孤单的时候，男人在身边搂着她的肩膀坚定的对她说“别怕，有我。”
是的，有的时候，爱意是在不经意间流露的。可能男人你自己没感觉，可是女人却字一句的记在了心底。她们会用更多的爱恋回报你。
尝试着在出门之前吻一下你的女人。常常温存的告诉她，你有多么的爱她。休息的时候抢过她手里要洗的衣物。天气好的时候带她到公园散步。睡觉前给她讲讲公司里，回家路上看到的有趣的事情。偶尔耐心倾听女人讲的事情，即使你对白菜5角或是4角一斤不感兴趣。 在她穿了新裙子的时候，认真的看2分钟，然后诚心夸奖一下她。如果裙子大了，就说你又苗条了，如果裙子小了，就说如果大一点会更漂亮。逛街的时候可以拉着 女人的手或者揽着她的肩膀，因为这样，她会觉得幸福。女人都希望在平凡中被呵护，被爱着。你温存的点点滴滴一定能让她闻到幸福的芳香。其实女人要的幸福很 简单。你要耐心的对你的女人好，不需要如火山火热，也不需要如海浪汹涌，细水长流就足够让她幸福一辈子。
一个黄昏，我接到那个男人的电话。他很兴奋的告诉我，说女孩又回到了他身边。我问他是怎么做的， 他说费了很大力气才约到女孩散步，还专挑路口走。过马路时候站在女孩左边，紧紧握住她的手。我笑了，说你现在明白了吧。男人嘿嘿的说：“明白了，明白了， 她跟我，是需要我疼的。”
是啊，当上帝用亚当的肋骨造了一个夏娃时，就预示着男人该认真照顾身边那个是自己身上肋骨变的女子，好好爱她吧，否则你自己的胸口也是会疼痛的。
跟着你，就是要你疼的！！
既然当初选择了你
就是一心一意为你付出
不管一切
不管自己再怎么辛苦
但是
单方面的付出能持续多久
换句话来说
我们来交换角色
你是否能忍耐？
你可以开口叫我看开点，让你自由
那试问，如果你的付出对我而言是变得里说当然
又一直把我搁在一旁
你可以真的什么都不做让我自由？
时间久了
你忙你的
我不再依赖你
有你和没有你基本上是没有差别的时候
你觉得我自己一个人过会比较好还是照顾一个不怎么理会自己的人好？
那时的你才来挽回吗？
如果你真的明白我在说什么
Love VS Being Loved
What's the difference between them?
One is to love someone
One is somebody loving you
Guess which category I am?
Love
I used to be in the small portion of being loved
Even that is just a tiny little small portion
I am happy
Even though I tried to change and be satisfied with it
It never enough
As time pass
Things doesn't get better as I wish
It get worst
The small portion had became something else
The reason he gave me is he treated me as family member
So he doesn't have to pay so much attention to pretend or care so much
Honestly, then for girl to treat him as family member
Is it the responsibility to prepare everything and do everything and make him the center of the world?
No
There is no such bullshit
I guess no matter how is the position of the person is
If you really care
You will care eventually
All I felt was loved
NOW?
All I felt about you is YOU YOU YOU YOU
You are hungry, you ate my stuff;
You need to eat, you want me to cook;
You are tired, you want me to stop bugging you and let you sleep;
You need to work out, you want me to let you out;
You need freedom, you want me to give you space;
You need exercise, you want me to tolerate;
You YOu YOU
How about me?
You are hungry, how about me? Aren't I am the same? But I still need to get up and prepare everything
You ate my stuff, how about me? All those biscuits and stuff are prepared for me you finished it, then mine?
You need to eat, how about me? I need to prepare everything when you want to eat, but I can't go out eat myself when I NEED to eat
You are tired, what about me? Aren't I tired everyday class, work, house chores, activities while you wondering Facebook everyday?
You never thought of me everytime
You used to think of me last time
When I was hungry, no matter where and when it is, you will always find a way to help me settled even listen to my nagging for hours, not ignore me and just let me settle alone
When I was tired, you used to give me a ride immediately from anywhere just to get me home or rest, not ask me to find my way home just because you are not free
When we were having meals together, you will thought that maybe you might want to leave something for me and not finish things up alone
Whenever and whatever you did, you will always thought of me as much as I thought of you
I am not expecting you act just like I do
But at least a little?
男生们你们可以做完78条吗 ? (:
1、把FB 密码告诉她。❤
2、不凶她。x
3、不伤她心。x
4、不欺负她。x
5、不许骗她。❤
6、不可以打她。❤
7、不对她摔东西。❤
8、不许先挂她电话。x
9、不许对她大声说话。x
10、不做对不起她的事。❤
11、不把别人气发在她身上。❤
12、不叫她做不愿意的事。x
13、不许拿她和前女友比较。❤
14、不许嫌她手艺不好（再难吃也要夸好）。❤
15、不给她吃一些对她身体不好的东西。❤
16、不能对任何一个人都比她好。❤
17、冬天允许她把手放到你身体里。❤
18、行街时 , 要拉着她的手 , 不许放。x
19、过马路时一定要把她牵紧。❤
20、陪她逛街时不能说累。x
21、行街时要为她拿东西。❤
22、大节小节都要送礼物给她（不在乎礼物的贵贱）。x
23、无论她什么时候饿 , 都要陪她吃饭。x
24、吵架一定是你先道歉。❤
25、她撒娇的时候你要配合。x
26、她生病时要监督她吃药。❤
27、她打电来时一定要接。x
28、她不舒服时要陪在她身边。x
29、在她失落时 , 你要安慰她。x
30、她哭时 , 你要把她紧紧地抱着。❤
31、她生日时 , 必须第一个时间给她浪漫和惊喜。❤
32、答应她的事不能讨价还价。x
33、可以让她随时翻你手机。❤
34、有事随叫随到。x
35、晚上不要把手机给关了。❤
36、每天要打电话给她。❤
37、上网时 , 第一时间看她在不在。❤
38、她去别的地方时 , 要记得随时打电话给她 , 让她小心。❤
39、她喜欢什么就给买什么。x
40、把她照顾好 , 不让她生病。❤
41、把她的号码放在第一位。❤
42、对她要一心一意。❤
43、收到她短信马上回。❤
44、在你朋友面前给足面子她。❤
45、散步时要走在她的左侧。x
46、无论一起多久都要保持新鲜。x
47、危险的事不能让她做。❤
48、下雨时 , 要为她打伞。❤
49、记得她的爱好。❤
50、有快乐时要和她一起分享。❤
51、有痛苦时要和她一起分担。x
52、要给她介绍你所有的朋友。❤
53、要会逗她笑。❤
54、要说到做到。x
55、要学会做饭给她吃。x
56、要相信她。❤
57、要学会自己检讨。x
58、要给她暖被窝。❤
59、要接受她的过去。❤
60、要给她安全感。x
61、在心里她是你最爱的人。❤
62、她发脾气要哄她开心。x
63、她任性要迁就她。x
64、约会不可以让她等。❤
65、约会等多久也不可以离开。❤
66、陪她玩不可以说没时间 , 地方有她选。x
67、时时刻刻要想着她。x
68、不可以看别的女孩子超过三秒 , 最好不看。❤
69、送她回家要到家门口 , 等她上楼才离开。❤
70、到家要给她说 晚安。x
71、看她做事 , 要帮她做事 , 还要认真做好。x
72、好吃的东西要给她吃。x
73、早上要叫她起床。❤
74、要买早餐给她吃。❤
75、她要没起床 , 要帮她刷牙洗脸。❤
76、她要不想起床 , 要喂她吃早餐。❤
77、在生命里要把她放在第一位，x
78、要让她做最幸福的女人❤
I am not asking you to do all these things
It won't last long
But
At least At least care about me?
You said that you love me and care about me
But honestly, I don't feel that
You said that you put me at the first place
Honestly, I don't think so
Your actions and what you said are different
You said that what I asked is for you to 24 standby for me
I am not asking that
I am just asking whatever you do, maybe you might want to think about me?
You might said that, it will be tiring if everything regarding us have to think twice
Well,
I always think of waiting you for meals no matter what you did before
I always think of leaving the best part of the meals for you even you didn't ask
I always think of helping you cleaning and tidying stuff even you didn't care
I always think of helping you get something when I was buying stuff
I always think of preparing meals that you preferred the most
I always think of you
Everything I did mostly is YOU
And I lived with it for almost 3 years
And you have been living in this wonderful and lovely life for 3 years and expecting it to continue
Honestly,
A relationship is need two ways
It's not single
I am so damn fucking tired
I am not asking you treating me like a princess or what
At least what we did is balance
Only that it will last long
Did you get it?
What I mentioned to you about I no longer rely on you
Is not about what
Is true where whenever things happen, you never there
You never thought of my position and thoughts
I said that I as if that I didn't have a boyfriend
But you mention that you also didn't feel like you have a girlfriend
Reason is just because I don't want to hanging around with your friends
That is it
Again, is about YOU again
Cause I didn't able to be out with your friends and you don't have the "face"
Seriously, What are you expecting me to think?
I am seriously unable to draw your attention to me
It's always
1. Family
2. Gym / Football
3. Money
4. ME
And what your answer given to me?
It's because of my fucking appearance
Well, honestly, I looked much fucking ugly when you know me
Then why me?
You said that is your nature that you will care about appearance a little bit as it's your horoscope etc
What you want me to say?
Love and being loved
Have you ever thought that I really can't stand it anymore?
Did you really think that you going to ignore the problem?
Did you even thought of me? What I thought? What I want? What I wish?
I love you
I know I do
DO YOU?
As I asked you before, what sacrifices you have made for me
Your answer is "Silence"
You really made me feel like I am a person that better than a maid
Which at least you show respect and care
But I am not your mother
I don't want to do everything for you anymore
You bought a thermal rice bowl
Claim that you will cook for your Tuesday class
Honestly, you are waiting me to cook for you and help you save the money and trouble
Did you have a slightly, just a slight thought that
I am a student like you?!
Worst, my subject and burden is heavier than you
You expect me to do all those stuff
You said that you are tired and busy
What about me?
Have to think of that?
Everytime I mention it
You will just settled on the spot and thinks that it is done
Just like today
I wasn't tear for nothing
It's not solely because you forget to cook rice
It's about that you know that I will be home and prepare lunch
You never thought that maybe you might have to cook rice before I am back
But you claimed that next time you will cook it anytime
It's not the fucking problem!
It's about you never thought about me
You never stand on my position to think
All you thought of is
You want to eat at home, even sometimes I am busy
You want to get a free, happy, wonderful life
It won't last long
You expect me to help you change mattress, wash it, and keep it for you
I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING MAID!!
At least maid get paid !
You really never thought of me
You are just lazy to think about it
I am really tired
You always asked me is it so hard and tired and suffer to be with you
Yes, because you never consider me and you always think of you
All I ask is for you love treat me like a normal girl not a wife
Even I had married to you
I will divorce soon enough
This is not the life I chosen
I didn't plan to continue this kind of life in the future
To you, it is a bright and happy future
Not to me
I want somebody that care about me, love me, considerable
Can you?
You think of your own
A deal is a deal
But the time will pass
I am done trying
I am done with all those talking
Whether you get it or not
Whether you like it or not
There won't be second time
Think about it
Monday, October 29, 2012
Swimming
After so many years of training
I guess it become useless without any practices
I used to swim a standard size swimming pool 10 rounds one shot
Today, 2 rounds of "width" swimming nearly killed me
I really lack of staminal
But guess what?
I almost drown
It was so many people
And you know, KIDS is the dangerous creature in the swimming pool
They didn't really notice people around them
They kept knocked me
I swallowed a lot of water and its was really really crazy
All I know is take a deep breath and swim to a place where I can stand on
I tried to hold on the cough and swim
Until I reached the shallow place
Seriously, it is damn crazy man!
I slept around 10 something
woke up around 4am
Still feeling tired
God
I guess it become useless without any practices
I used to swim a standard size swimming pool 10 rounds one shot
Today, 2 rounds of "width" swimming nearly killed me
I really lack of staminal
But guess what?
I almost drown
It was so many people
And you know, KIDS is the dangerous creature in the swimming pool
They didn't really notice people around them
They kept knocked me
I swallowed a lot of water and its was really really crazy
All I know is take a deep breath and swim to a place where I can stand on
I tried to hold on the cough and swim
Until I reached the shallow place
Seriously, it is damn crazy man!
I slept around 10 something
woke up around 4am
Still feeling tired
God
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Better
It's better for a person to care less than care too much
I think if you care a person too much
It will hurt at the end
I tried
I think I really am on the process back to what I used to be
Tough Girl
I want to care less about anything
It's just too burden to care about everything
Worry about everyting
Trying to balance everything
I know it is impossible
But I always think that "I should at least try"
I think I am done trying
I am really tired
No matter what I did
It always wrong
No matter what I do
It never satisfied anyone
Parents, sister, even my own boyfriend
I know I am not perfect
But I tried
I am not a pretty girl like princess
I am doesn't have slim body shape like model
I am not as good as other girls with all those make ups and modern
I am not as out-going as my sister where she is a girlfriend that can be brought out to friends
I am not a good tempered person like a gentle girlfriend or wife
I am not
But I've tried didn't I?
But it never enough
People always felt that I am annoying
I am dull and bored
I am not good enough
I mean how good is good to you?
Being a good daughter wasn't good enough for you
You guys love more of the naughty, self-fish and smarter daugther
Being a wonderful girlfriend wasn't good enough for you either
Cause I am not pretty enough, I didn't dye my hair or dressed modernly and have a super bad tempered plus an-un-able-to-bring-out girlfriend
It's never enough after what I've done
Bad things are always the main focus
I mean, how many people actually cares about what I am thinking of?
What I want is your approval
Stop thinking that I am just a weak IQ and numb daughter
What I want is your love, your attention
Not that what you expect is appearance girlfriend
Guess, you never thought that it hurts so much that I nearly burst to tears on the spot
I insists not to change myself before having a boyfriend
Cause I don't want to find a person that care only appearance
Cause one day I will no longer young and pretty
And I am not going to be one of the factor that my life partner will leave me
I thought you are different
But I guess like other guys, appearance does matter
Inner pretty is never enough
It's never enough of what I have contribute
It's never enough
So why would I care so much?
Might as well have a break on it
Since no matter how hard I tried
I am not good enough
Why should I tried?
Better to be and do things that for myself
Cause you won't hurt yourself
It is always the safest place
Nobody will hurt you if you keep things to yourself
Nobody will able to hurt you if you are self-centered
Cause you won't be care about anything
It's at least better
Life will be easier this way
I think if you care a person too much
It will hurt at the end
I tried
I think I really am on the process back to what I used to be
Tough Girl
I want to care less about anything
It's just too burden to care about everything
Worry about everyting
Trying to balance everything
I know it is impossible
But I always think that "I should at least try"
I think I am done trying
I am really tired
No matter what I did
It always wrong
No matter what I do
It never satisfied anyone
Parents, sister, even my own boyfriend
I know I am not perfect
But I tried
I am not a pretty girl like princess
I am doesn't have slim body shape like model
I am not as good as other girls with all those make ups and modern
I am not as out-going as my sister where she is a girlfriend that can be brought out to friends
I am not a good tempered person like a gentle girlfriend or wife
I am not
But I've tried didn't I?
But it never enough
People always felt that I am annoying
I am dull and bored
I am not good enough
I mean how good is good to you?
Being a good daughter wasn't good enough for you
You guys love more of the naughty, self-fish and smarter daugther
Being a wonderful girlfriend wasn't good enough for you either
Cause I am not pretty enough, I didn't dye my hair or dressed modernly and have a super bad tempered plus an-un-able-to-bring-out girlfriend
It's never enough after what I've done
Bad things are always the main focus
I mean, how many people actually cares about what I am thinking of?
What I want is your approval
Stop thinking that I am just a weak IQ and numb daughter
What I want is your love, your attention
Not that what you expect is appearance girlfriend
Guess, you never thought that it hurts so much that I nearly burst to tears on the spot
I insists not to change myself before having a boyfriend
Cause I don't want to find a person that care only appearance
Cause one day I will no longer young and pretty
And I am not going to be one of the factor that my life partner will leave me
I thought you are different
But I guess like other guys, appearance does matter
Inner pretty is never enough
It's never enough of what I have contribute
It's never enough
So why would I care so much?
Might as well have a break on it
Since no matter how hard I tried
I am not good enough
Why should I tried?
Better to be and do things that for myself
Cause you won't hurt yourself
It is always the safest place
Nobody will hurt you if you keep things to yourself
Nobody will able to hurt you if you are self-centered
Cause you won't be care about anything
It's at least better
Life will be easier this way
Friday, October 26, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Stupid
It's stupid to cry over for a person that don't care in the middle of the night
But
I just can't help it
But
I just can't help it
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Worst
Guess my mood getting worst
This time, Juin How not asking me out like last night
It just happen that both of us like connected
When I was thinking whether to ask him out
He called, claiming that he was not in good mood either
We both at the end end up at bar
He looks alike like HIM
He talked a lot of thing
I guess it was the thing that HE want to tell me
I am so sorry that I can't accept or do what you wish me to do
I am so sorry
He asked me to think something
But
I didn't give him any answer
This time, Juin How not asking me out like last night
It just happen that both of us like connected
When I was thinking whether to ask him out
He called, claiming that he was not in good mood either
We both at the end end up at bar
He looks alike like HIM
He talked a lot of thing
I guess it was the thing that HE want to tell me
I am so sorry that I can't accept or do what you wish me to do
I am so sorry
He asked me to think something
But
I didn't give him any answer
Friday, October 12, 2012
Stop asking me to be tolerate!
Well, honestly, I tolerate enough
So, Don't you ever ever ever ever ask me to tolerate with that bitch!
I tolerate enough
More than enough
I live with a person that I won't even will forgive
I won't forgive her
I won't want to see her if possible
You have the right to say that you hate that person
But you asked me to forgive her?!
Forgiveness and trust need to be earned have you ever heard before?!
That fucking bitch didn't even try to be a better person
But destroying
And you asking me to forgive her?!
After what she had done?!
If she able to give back my 2 horrible years back, I will!
If she able to take away all those bad memories away, I will!
But she can't!
But she just turned worst
SO FUCK OFF!!
I don't care about her
Cause I don't fucking care about her
I don't want to bother a person that do not know how to think for others
A person that don't know to care about others
A person that don't know how to think for others
A person that is worst than selfish
DO NOT DESERVE ANY FORGIVENESS FROM ME!
I tolerate enough
I stand her more than enough
I didn't sign up for this
She is not my mother
So, Fuck off
She is not my duties cause she never play her duties
She never care about anybody but herself and money
So this kind of person not deserve any pitiness and forgivenss
One more time
Really, one more time
I won't care anything
I won't be tolerate anymore!
So, Don't you ever ever ever ever ask me to tolerate with that bitch!
I tolerate enough
More than enough
I live with a person that I won't even will forgive
I won't forgive her
I won't want to see her if possible
You have the right to say that you hate that person
But you asked me to forgive her?!
Forgiveness and trust need to be earned have you ever heard before?!
That fucking bitch didn't even try to be a better person
But destroying
And you asking me to forgive her?!
After what she had done?!
If she able to give back my 2 horrible years back, I will!
If she able to take away all those bad memories away, I will!
But she can't!
But she just turned worst
SO FUCK OFF!!
I don't care about her
Cause I don't fucking care about her
I don't want to bother a person that do not know how to think for others
A person that don't know to care about others
A person that don't know how to think for others
A person that is worst than selfish
DO NOT DESERVE ANY FORGIVENESS FROM ME!
I tolerate enough
I stand her more than enough
I didn't sign up for this
She is not my mother
So, Fuck off
She is not my duties cause she never play her duties
She never care about anybody but herself and money
So this kind of person not deserve any pitiness and forgivenss
One more time
Really, one more time
I won't care anything
I won't be tolerate anymore!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Scorpio
OMG!
I looked through the calender today
I just realized that Boon Shiun is Scorpio!!!
His birthday is 23/10 first day of Scorpio
Wow!
Is that me are so attracted with Scorpio or what?!
All these years,
I kept on meeting Scorpio around me
Yes, they know me like they are born to be
But, is it coincidence or what?!
It's really kinda creepy
Form 3
Form 4
Form 5
Foundation
NOW
All Scorpio!!!
Even my best friends are all Scorpio including Michelle and Juin How!
WoW!
It really surprise me
Speaking about Boon Shiun
How is he?
I guess, just like others
He hates me
We had something
Timing problem
But we never contact each other anymore
Sometime I did find him one year ago
But obviously he doesn't want to talk to me
I can't blame him didn't I?
I did hurt him badly
I didn't even give him a chance
But guess I can't turn back the clock
I still remember his birthday
And my birthday
And my wishes
What he did for me
I let him down
I don't know how many times I am going to let people down
Am I an evil?!
Or am I born to be devil?
I am so sorry
Guess his birthday is coming soon
But I think he won't want my wishes
But I still hoping him all the best and take care
Please forgive me
I looked through the calender today
I just realized that Boon Shiun is Scorpio!!!
His birthday is 23/10 first day of Scorpio
Wow!
Is that me are so attracted with Scorpio or what?!
All these years,
I kept on meeting Scorpio around me
Yes, they know me like they are born to be
But, is it coincidence or what?!
It's really kinda creepy
Form 3
Form 4
Form 5
Foundation
NOW
All Scorpio!!!
Even my best friends are all Scorpio including Michelle and Juin How!
WoW!
It really surprise me
Speaking about Boon Shiun
How is he?
I guess, just like others
He hates me
We had something
Timing problem
But we never contact each other anymore
Sometime I did find him one year ago
But obviously he doesn't want to talk to me
I can't blame him didn't I?
I did hurt him badly
I didn't even give him a chance
But guess I can't turn back the clock
I still remember his birthday
And my birthday
And my wishes
What he did for me
I let him down
I don't know how many times I am going to let people down
Am I an evil?!
Or am I born to be devil?
I am so sorry
Guess his birthday is coming soon
But I think he won't want my wishes
But I still hoping him all the best and take care
Please forgive me
Monday, September 10, 2012
Don't Make Me Cures
To all bitches and f***ers,
Seriously, save all those bullshit and shut your mouth up
BULLSHIT
LOSER
Don't make me curse
Seriously, save all those bullshit and shut your mouth up
BULLSHIT
LOSER
Don't make me curse
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Evil vs Angel
I am sorry to say that I can be both evil and angel
Yes, I am crazy
When I shut myself
I am evil cause you know how cold and cool I am
When I am, well, open to people
I am an angel
Like it or not
I am an evil also an angel
^^
Yes, I am crazy
When I shut myself
I am evil cause you know how cold and cool I am
When I am, well, open to people
I am an angel
Like it or not
I am an evil also an angel
^^
When our love being treated as something annoying once, twice..
Well, trust me it won't going to have the third or fourth time..
But someone stupid like me done it for three years and still working on it..
I am the typical idiot just hoping that things will change..
But no matter how persistent I am, it will one day face the end..
Until that, will you care?
Or you will only start caring?
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Wow
I guess I never see it coming
They broke up
Honestly, I don't know why
They seem happy
And they took a hard way to be together
Wow~ It really a shock news to me
They broke up
Honestly, I don't know why
They seem happy
And they took a hard way to be together
Wow~ It really a shock news to me
Saturday, September 1, 2012
That was CLOSE
I slept during the ride to tuition
It wasn't a big deal
The only problem is....
I was going with a MOTOR
It was a motor ride
And I fell asleep during the ride
Guess I never tried to really fall into a very deep sleep during the ride
Everytime even I fall asleep I know to balance myself
But I guess this time I was too tired
I lost my balance
SHOOT!
I nearly fell down!
I was shocked to death
You know the "Inception" is true where people will wake up when it fall
I did!
Jezzzzzzzz
That was really really CLOSE!
。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
It wasn't a big deal
The only problem is....
I was going with a MOTOR
It was a motor ride
And I fell asleep during the ride
Guess I never tried to really fall into a very deep sleep during the ride
Everytime even I fall asleep I know to balance myself
But I guess this time I was too tired
I lost my balance
SHOOT!
I nearly fell down!
I was shocked to death
You know the "Inception" is true where people will wake up when it fall
I did!
Jezzzzzzzz
That was really really CLOSE!
。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
我们都傻
电视剧【醉后决定爱上你】插曲
＊计算着为你流下了多少眼泪
就代表又对我的心 撒了 多少谎
但每次我都选择 选择相信
相信你是爱我的
倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神 我很窒息
难道你没有看见 看见我对你的好
还是你忘了 那些数不清的爱情轨迹
你说我傻 傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻 傻在爱他你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻 傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现
你说我傻 傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻 傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻 傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
谁没有为爱做过傻事 继续温习我会 讽刺也无所谓
我说我傻 傻在爱上没有感情的分身
你说你傻 傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻 傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
还在期待会有奇迹出现
Another Night With Tears
No matter how hard I wish
It never happens
That's when people learn from their lessons for not putting hope on things
Good Night and Sweet Dream ^^
It never happens
That's when people learn from their lessons for not putting hope on things
Good Night and Sweet Dream ^^
Yes
Yes, I am stupid because
People do crazy things... when they're in love.
Quotes from Hercules in Disney
People do crazy things... when they're in love.
Quotes from Hercules in Disney
Rough Day
I don't care what my sister did
I don't bother what my sister and my mother said
I don't mind what others said about my appearance and my attitude
No matter which side my parents took
No matter what anybody did to me
I cried
On the plane
On the airport
On the bus
Nobodies ever care
Worst, they looked at you like some pathetic person
Well, I don't need that
Thank you
But I just don't need that
I am good with myself
I tried my best
To be a good girlfriend
To be a good daughter
But I never good enough for anyone of you
Sorry
I just not good enough
I don't bother what my sister and my mother said
I don't mind what others said about my appearance and my attitude
No matter which side my parents took
No matter what anybody did to me
I cried
On the plane
On the airport
On the bus
Nobodies ever care
Worst, they looked at you like some pathetic person
Well, I don't need that
Thank you
But I just don't need that
I am good with myself
I tried my best
To be a good girlfriend
To be a good daughter
But I never good enough for anyone of you
Sorry
I just not good enough
Big Girls Don't Cry
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace Serenity
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and
you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace Serenity
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
It's time to be a big girl, a tough girl
To be strong anytime
To be unpenetrable
No matter what happened during the trip
No matter how hard the life is
No matter what people said
I should be tough enough to ignore
No matter how unhappy I am
No matter how people treated you
No matter how unfair the life is
I should be strong enough to resists it
Say Goodbye to tears
Say Hello to the strong heart
No more crying for unnecessary stuff
Cause people aren't going to care
Be a big girl
And Big Girl Don't Cry
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace Serenity
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and
you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace Serenity
I hope you know I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
It's time to be a big girl, a tough girl
To be strong anytime
To be unpenetrable
No matter what happened during the trip
No matter how hard the life is
No matter what people said
I should be tough enough to ignore
No matter how unhappy I am
No matter how people treated you
No matter how unfair the life is
I should be strong enough to resists it
Say Goodbye to tears
Say Hello to the strong heart
No more crying for unnecessary stuff
Cause people aren't going to care
Be a big girl
And Big Girl Don't Cry
Before I Fall In Love
my heart says we've got something real
can i trust the way i feel
cause my heart's been fooled before
am i just seeing what to see
or is it true could you really be
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
i'm at the point of on return
so afraid of getting bummed
but i want to take a chance
please give me a reason to believe
say that you're the one that you'll always be
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
it's been so hard for me to give my heart away
but i would give my everything
just to here you say
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
It's late to know caused I fall in love to someone by not knowing all these
Waiting
can i trust the way i feel
cause my heart's been fooled before
am i just seeing what to see
or is it true could you really be
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
i'm at the point of on return
so afraid of getting bummed
but i want to take a chance
please give me a reason to believe
say that you're the one that you'll always be
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
it's been so hard for me to give my heart away
but i would give my everything
just to here you say
someone to have and hold
with my heart and soul
i need to know before i fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my ups and downs
please tell me now before i fall in love
It's late to know caused I fall in love to someone by not knowing all these
Waiting
No Promises
There is one day when I wish that your promises are promises that I can keep
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know girl
I don't wanna run away
baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight
I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know girl
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
No promises
I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know girl
I don't wanna run away
baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight
I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know girl
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
No promises
I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
When the Hearts Breaks
I wish one day
There is a one day that you will tell me
"I'll Never Break Your Heart"
baby i know you are hurting
right now you feel like you could never love again
now all i ask is for a chance
from the first day
that i saw your smiling face
honey i knew that we would be together forever
ooh when i asked you out
you said no but i found out
darling that you'd been hurt
you felt that you'd never love again
i deserve a try honey just once
give me a chance and i'll prove this all wrong
you waked in you were so quick to judge
but honey hi's nothing like me
i'll never break your heart
i'll never make you cry
i'd rather die than live without you
i'll give you all of me
honey that's no lie
i'll never break your heart
i'll never make you cry
i'd rather die than live without you
i'll give you all of me
honey that's no lie
As i walked by you
You will get to know me
A little more better
Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby
And I (I) know you're afraid (know you're afraid)
To let your feelings show (feelings show)
And I understand
Girl, it's time to let go (girl, it's time to let go because)
I deserve a try (try) honey
Just once (once)
Give me a chance (chance) and I'll prove this all wrong (wrong you walked)
You walked in, you were so quick to judge (quick to judge)
But honey he's nothing like me
Darling why can't you see
i'll never break your heart
i'll never make you cry
i'd rather die than live without you
i'll give you all of me
honey that's no lie
I'll never break your heart
i'll never make you cry
i'd rather die than live without you
i'll give you all of me
honey that's no lie
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)
I swear (Oh I, oh I, I swear)
No way, no how (I'll never break your heart girl, I'll never make you cry)
Friday, August 24, 2012
Confused
I wasn't really sure what to do
Well, honestly I don't know
I know what I did never going to be right for both
I know it is being unfair to both of them
But tell me
How am I suppose to do?
God damn it, I am seriously tired about this
Well, honestly I don't know
I know what I did never going to be right for both
I know it is being unfair to both of them
But tell me
How am I suppose to do?
God damn it, I am seriously tired about this
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Persistent
I am damn tired but I still online
Just to hope that I can talk with you
You promised that you will be there
And you didn't
I guess I am trying to be persistence here
To make up what had lost between us
Not sure whether it will happen
But I tried
At least I tried
Tried to make things better
To get what we used to have
To get once we both had
The passion to love
Just to hope that I can talk with you
You promised that you will be there
And you didn't
I guess I am trying to be persistence here
To make up what had lost between us
Not sure whether it will happen
But I tried
At least I tried
Tried to make things better
To get what we used to have
To get once we both had
The passion to love
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Wish
Just wish that you are really miss me
Wish that even you are tired you will still there for me cause i want you to
Wish that you really love me like you mean it
I wish
I wish a lot of things
Just never thought will it come true
Wish that even you are tired you will still there for me cause i want you to
Wish that you really love me like you mean it
I wish
I wish a lot of things
Just never thought will it come true
Monday, August 13, 2012
Funny
Well, out of sudden
My madness turn into laughter
I just realized how stupid you are
And how funny you are
Too bad
I am so sorry for you ^^
My madness turn into laughter
I just realized how stupid you are
And how funny you are
Too bad
I am so sorry for you ^^
Cursing words
arse
ass
asshole
bastard
bitch
bollocks
child-fucker
Christ on a bike
Christ on a cracker
cunt
motherfucker
shit
shit ass
shitass
son of a bitch
son of a whore
sweet Jesus
http://www.noswearing.com/dictionary/b
Ass Hole!
Ass Hole
Ass Hole
Ass Hole
You are one big fat ASS HOLE!!
ARGH!!!!
If that so, Please
They are not the committees of the board
They are only the committees for the events
Cause they are not attending any meetings and contribute anything to the club
But only events
Please use your fucking big fat brain to think you son of the bitch
You know what?
Your stupidity and your moronity are wordless to describe
There will be no words to describe you !
All I can say is
F*** you !
And
Screw you!!
Ass Hole
Ass Hole
You are one big fat ASS HOLE!!
ARGH!!!!
If that so, Please
They are not the committees of the board
They are only the committees for the events
Cause they are not attending any meetings and contribute anything to the club
But only events
Please use your fucking big fat brain to think you son of the bitch
You know what?
Your stupidity and your moronity are wordless to describe
There will be no words to describe you !
All I can say is
F*** you !
And
Screw you!!
Moron!
I just realized how much Moron you are!!
You are really a son of the Bitch man!!
You are really a typical one
I give you a big round applause!
What the fuck is that they are not in charge in the trip and only in charge in other events?
Well, if they are the committee of the board
Show responsible
Show commitment
If they are only the committee of that particular event
Please remove them from the list of committee board
What the fucking hell is that they don't in charge in the trip?!
They aren't in charge in ANY of the trip you moron genius!
They only in charge of your 111 event!
If they cannot contribute
Clear them out of the way
How can a committee that do not in charge of the trip can have excuses for duty?
If that so, all of the committees do not have to duty anymore
Left the director and 2 assistant directors to do
What the kind of excuses is this?
Did you realize that you are a pain ass hole?!
You really really pissed me off right now
Really
There is no reason where we have to duty and they don't
NO EXCUSES!!
You are really a son of the Bitch man!!
You are really a typical one
I give you a big round applause!
What the fuck is that they are not in charge in the trip and only in charge in other events?
Well, if they are the committee of the board
Show responsible
Show commitment
If they are only the committee of that particular event
Please remove them from the list of committee board
What the fucking hell is that they don't in charge in the trip?!
They aren't in charge in ANY of the trip you moron genius!
They only in charge of your 111 event!
If they cannot contribute
Clear them out of the way
How can a committee that do not in charge of the trip can have excuses for duty?
If that so, all of the committees do not have to duty anymore
Left the director and 2 assistant directors to do
What the kind of excuses is this?
Did you realize that you are a pain ass hole?!
You really really pissed me off right now
Really
There is no reason where we have to duty and they don't
NO EXCUSES!!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Sick
Yesterday was a horrible day
Guess during the class I was really freezing like hell
The body was shaking
I wonder why it is so cold that day
3 hours
I am nearly dead
Then I went back home
Busy cooking
The whole housemate ate together beside Yi Mei
We got a lot of food actually
I thought we are not going to finish them up but...
Really
Everytime they shocked me with their appetite
They finished them!!
Holly Crow!
After that I slept
In fact, the whole house slept
Only me the person who woke up so early
Everyone slept until 4 - 6pm
I woke up around 2pm
Got dizzy head and stuff
Then I washed the toilet, the fan, sweep the floor and washed my clothes
Really really exhausting
But I still have to do
Then I was planned to go Jongker to find my pencil box
Nearly, I can't able to go
I was just wondering
Why is it so hard for me and him to go out lately?
Why is it so many obstacles?
He even yawn when going out with me finding stuff
Really? Is it so boring?
Then half way back, I just realized I am super dizzy and the head was super heavy
I told him but he seems like didn't listen in
Keep on asking me for Durian Ice and Cendol
Wow!
You really don't know how much I wanted to eat
Still we still went to Jongker after that
And finally
I found my pencil box
Then I was totally Sick
After dinner
I was really headache and dizzy enough
Still I don't want to bath
I watched movie
Then bathed
After that James asked me to Jusco
They is really honestly TOO MANY people
But James them know that I wasn't feeling well
After that they brought me to drink bitter tea
Honestly, it was really really bitter
I drank it in one shot
It wasn't that bad UNTIL the bitter left on your teeth
It was really awful!
Then something happened in Mixx
I have to say that it's really bad to have such attitudes
Where you take granted of people
And you want to go there have fun but don't want to pay
Really
I have no comment
I just realized that
There is always the best to have our own best friends together
I missed the time going to Mixx with Justin, Rene and Wei Lun
Then time passed
I was hell tired and dizzy
Watched "Battleship" that downloaded
After that I am seriously horribly tired
Slept with music and light on
Really
I am not fever
But I felt not well
I am cold but I am all hot around my body when people touched me
Sick
Have to get well soon in order to go for holiday next week!!
Please Get Well SOON!!
Keep on asking me for Durian Ice and Cendol
Wow!
You really don't know how much I wanted to eat
Still we still went to Jongker after that
And finally
I found my pencil box
Then I was totally Sick
After dinner
I was really headache and dizzy enough
Still I don't want to bath
I watched movie
Then bathed
After that James asked me to Jusco
They is really honestly TOO MANY people
But James them know that I wasn't feeling well
After that they brought me to drink bitter tea
Honestly, it was really really bitter
I drank it in one shot
It wasn't that bad UNTIL the bitter left on your teeth
It was really awful!
Then something happened in Mixx
I have to say that it's really bad to have such attitudes
Where you take granted of people
And you want to go there have fun but don't want to pay
Really
I have no comment
I just realized that
There is always the best to have our own best friends together
I missed the time going to Mixx with Justin, Rene and Wei Lun
Then time passed
I was hell tired and dizzy
Watched "Battleship" that downloaded
After that I am seriously horribly tired
Slept with music and light on
Really
I am not fever
But I felt not well
I am cold but I am all hot around my body when people touched me
Sick
Have to get well soon in order to go for holiday next week!!
Please Get Well SOON!!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Land Before Time
The Land Before Time II: The Great Valley Adventure
The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Giving
The Land Before Time IV: Journey Through the Mists
The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island
The Land Before Time VI: The Secret of Saurus Rock
The Land Before Time VII: The Stone of Cold Fire
The Land Before Time VIII: The Big Freeze
The Land Before Time IX: Journey to Big Water
The Land Before Time X: The Great Longneck Migration
The Land Before Time XI: Invasion of the Tinysauruses
The Land Before Time XII: The Great Day of the Flyers
The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends
These are what I found
How Am I suppose to find the others?
Any Idea?
Sometimes
There are sometimes
Some particular moments where I will think about
"Why can't you....?"
"Why can't you....?"
You know there are some moments I really wish that you have at least 1% of him
I know you wouldn't like this
But just a little bit
Remember I told you before that I don't mind getting all of your bad things
Because I love you
Because I choosen you
I don't blame myself
I take it because it is you
I can be so "grand" and understanding
I tried
I really tried
But sometimes you really makes me feels like
Urgh
I know people said that you are taking granted of me
Almost everyone
On what I did and how you did
I don't mind
In fact I don't care
I know it sounds stupid
But I wanted to do
I want to do it for you
But sometimes did you ever thought that I might be very tired?
Or someday maybe someday I might just want to walk out of it?
Yes, there are moments where I don't really feel of doing these
I mean in working hard on our relationship
Taking care of you
Trying to make you happy
Trying to do everything
Sometimes I wish to just get back to my normal student life
Get back to the life where I can do whatever I want
Or at least get back to the moment where we used to have
The passion perhaps?
The care and love perhaps?
You feels that because we already been almost 3 years
And you are glad that our life are like husband and wife
But did you really think that I DON'T want it?
Yes, I am proud
Technically
But I am not
I fall in love with you when I was 18
It had been taken my 3 years for you
And you want me to do all these for the rest of my life?
Yes, my mum is
She engaged with my dad
Then for the rest of her life
She was concentrate on my dad
Serving him take care of him
You know what?
That's the difference of Love and To-be-Love
You know why my parents don't want me to get boyfriend that early?
Because they don't want me to be like my mother
Cause they know I will do everything or give everything to my boyfriend
When I left my home
I first met you and in love with you
You are totally my world
I don't even want to bother other guys
Even people trying to woo me
I was like "ok.."
Until that day went out with Justin
I just realized that what he is doing is what I was doing all these time
And he told me
"This is the difference of To-Love and To-Be-Love"
You always asked me why I let WP to get close to me
Even I know you don't like
Cause didn't you realize?
I was only have these few friends
Close friends since my foundation
If you are not around
There is nobody I can find
Justin working, She Rene busy
Whoelse I am going to find?
You are busy
You said that you don't have the freedom
You want free permit to go futsal and gym
I given you
I given you everything
Your freedom as well
I know you are tired after the exercise
I really tried to be considerable
But
It just........
Not right
I was thinking
Why are we like very suffer to compromise with each other ?
Why are we actually doing right now?
Seems like we both are force to be together
I am not talking because I might want to choose WP
Well, he is not a choice
Not anymore
I don't want to go back there anymore
Not now not in the future
I was talking about you and me
Sometimes
I really feel like just take a month break
To breath
To rest
To be alone
Did you get it?
All I want is somebody to care about me
Somebody to REALLY love me
Somebody to REALLY hug me or kiss me
Not because I asked for it
Not because "It had been long time you never hug me"
It's because you want to
It's because deep down in your heart
You wanted to
You asked me why am I stopped pillow chatting with you
Cause you said that you are tired and you want to sleep
I tried to be considerable
That's why I sleep without saying anything
I know you are forced to talk with me
Even you said you will pat me to sleep
You are the one who sleep first
Everytime
Almost everytime
Night moment was the hardest
You always know how to make my heart hurt like damn hell
You always makes me cry to sleep
And then I will be dreaming about those old dreams again and again
Everytime
Even some special moment
Do you really have to ask me "You really want it do you?"
Well, sometimes there are things that I don't have to say it out
I don't want you to love me because I wanted you to
You don't have to wait me ask you to kiss me
Or ask some bullshit answer
Even I need to ask you to hug me to sleep
What is that ??
You get it?
I want the OLD us
But I guess you were thinking that I was going crazy again
Thinking that I wanted to get fight out of no where
I just wanted you to understand
Do you get it?
Some particular moments where I will think about
"Why can't you....?"
"Why can't you....?"
You know there are some moments I really wish that you have at least 1% of him
I know you wouldn't like this
But just a little bit
Remember I told you before that I don't mind getting all of your bad things
Because I love you
Because I choosen you
I don't blame myself
I take it because it is you
I can be so "grand" and understanding
I tried
I really tried
But sometimes you really makes me feels like
Urgh
I know people said that you are taking granted of me
Almost everyone
On what I did and how you did
I don't mind
In fact I don't care
I know it sounds stupid
But I wanted to do
I want to do it for you
But sometimes did you ever thought that I might be very tired?
Or someday maybe someday I might just want to walk out of it?
Yes, there are moments where I don't really feel of doing these
I mean in working hard on our relationship
Taking care of you
Trying to make you happy
Trying to do everything
Sometimes I wish to just get back to my normal student life
Get back to the life where I can do whatever I want
Or at least get back to the moment where we used to have
The passion perhaps?
The care and love perhaps?
You feels that because we already been almost 3 years
And you are glad that our life are like husband and wife
But did you really think that I DON'T want it?
Yes, I am proud
Technically
But I am not
I fall in love with you when I was 18
It had been taken my 3 years for you
And you want me to do all these for the rest of my life?
Yes, my mum is
She engaged with my dad
Then for the rest of her life
She was concentrate on my dad
Serving him take care of him
You know what?
That's the difference of Love and To-be-Love
You know why my parents don't want me to get boyfriend that early?
Because they don't want me to be like my mother
Cause they know I will do everything or give everything to my boyfriend
When I left my home
I first met you and in love with you
You are totally my world
I don't even want to bother other guys
Even people trying to woo me
I was like "ok.."
Until that day went out with Justin
I just realized that what he is doing is what I was doing all these time
And he told me
"This is the difference of To-Love and To-Be-Love"
You always asked me why I let WP to get close to me
Even I know you don't like
Cause didn't you realize?
I was only have these few friends
Close friends since my foundation
If you are not around
There is nobody I can find
Justin working, She Rene busy
Whoelse I am going to find?
You are busy
You said that you don't have the freedom
You want free permit to go futsal and gym
I given you
I given you everything
Your freedom as well
I know you are tired after the exercise
I really tried to be considerable
But
It just........
Not right
I was thinking
Why are we like very suffer to compromise with each other ?
Why are we actually doing right now?
Seems like we both are force to be together
I am not talking because I might want to choose WP
Well, he is not a choice
Not anymore
I don't want to go back there anymore
Not now not in the future
I was talking about you and me
Sometimes
I really feel like just take a month break
To breath
To rest
To be alone
Did you get it?
All I want is somebody to care about me
Somebody to REALLY love me
Somebody to REALLY hug me or kiss me
Not because I asked for it
Not because "It had been long time you never hug me"
It's because you want to
It's because deep down in your heart
You wanted to
You asked me why am I stopped pillow chatting with you
Cause you said that you are tired and you want to sleep
I tried to be considerable
That's why I sleep without saying anything
I know you are forced to talk with me
Even you said you will pat me to sleep
You are the one who sleep first
Everytime
Almost everytime
Night moment was the hardest
You always know how to make my heart hurt like damn hell
You always makes me cry to sleep
And then I will be dreaming about those old dreams again and again
Everytime
Even some special moment
Do you really have to ask me "You really want it do you?"
Well, sometimes there are things that I don't have to say it out
I don't want you to love me because I wanted you to
You don't have to wait me ask you to kiss me
Or ask some bullshit answer
Even I need to ask you to hug me to sleep
What is that ??
You get it?
I want the OLD us
But I guess you were thinking that I was going crazy again
Thinking that I wanted to get fight out of no where
I just wanted you to understand
Do you get it?
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