Tuesday, September 21, 2010

exam

Exam start today!
Microeconomic.. Well, I had already sort of worn out.. late sleep and sleepy and tired all the time.. I had once slept for 4 hours for my naps!! jezz.. I getting older now..

3 more days is my management exam.. i have 13 chapters to memorize.. I hope I will be alright that day since I took a very short time to memorize it.. so sad.. haiz..

Hopefully I can finished it.. haha..


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fantasy

you know.. girls have lots of fantasy in their own mind..
don't be surprise when they have like hundreds and thousand of fantasy or imaginary of things in their mind when things happen..

well, here the thing..
i have my own fantasy.. haha.. not surprise.. maybe is because of the recently "Cinderella" theme story make me feel like it will be nice if there is fantasy happen in our life..



my first current favorite stories is "Another Cinderella Stories" by Damon Santostefano and starring Selena Gomez. You know why this movie attracts me a lots?
well, they dance.. I wish I can dance.. or have somebody I love to dance with me..
and again.. that is the fantasy.. and is most probability won't happen to me cause he doesn't dance.. sad case.. T.T



second.. another stories is "starstruck" by Sterling Knight and Danielle Campbell.. The main character is singer.. and of course.. another fantasy is I wish somebody can sing for me.. or play music instrument for me.. of course.. again.. is somebody i love.. or feel good about.. at least..
Again.. not a single chance.. cause he don't sing.. T.T
but.. somehow it reminds me.. somebody didn't play something for me.. and it was amazing.. and.. hehe.. never mind.. keep that thinking for myself..

well.. i don't wish like i will be Cinderella or anything.. i just want to be simple girl.. but some how.. this simple girl turns out to be crazy sometime.. and the fantasy that she wish frankly not going to happen anyway.. cause he don't dance or sing.. and apparently I can't dance.. so sad.. now i regret for not learn to dance when i was small.. haiz..

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Goodbye

Goodbye
By Air Supply
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye

well, this is another my favorite songs.. yeah, i know, it is kinda outdated. But who cares?! as long it is a nice song then we should love it right?
this lyrics had edited a little for somebody special..
well, not that i going to say goodbye to him, but the lyrics, well, sort of suit me, how i feel right now. well, not exactly but nearly i think..
of course, i hope both of us will not have to use this "goodbye"
I think he is suffering right now and i don't know what can i do to help.
I am not her.
She is your perfect sister.. much more better than me..
I don't know how to cheer you up..
But i really hope that you are happy.. and so far i know you are not lonely..
You still have a lots of people are there for you..
stay happy alright?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

so that is it

that's what you said:"i better stay out of that, is none of my business anymore"
hmm.. nice to hear, hurt to feel

well, it had been a long time that i can't really let go of this relationship
it makes both of us kinda suffer,don't we?
like i don't want to let you go and you struggle to stay for me
i don't know why i want you to stay
is like i feel lots safer when i know you were there for me
but is kinda selfish of course
it hurts you a lot when i turn out to neglecting you again and again
giving you hope and letting you down again and again

so that is it
you and me
well of course we were still friends
the relationship among us all this time is not just simply friends
is sort of unknown and complicated
by me..
all me..
my fault again.. no doubt..

well, here's the song .. the first song that we finally get into the same "agreement" that you don't think that i am "old-fashion" or "outdated"
i still remember that moment
finally no criticism
and i am happy to be somebody that able to suit you somehow
i feel spark of glad deep down inside
i want to be your perfect person
but apparently i am not
so
here the song that i will always remember

and the guitar
i will never forget that there is somebody had ever loved me so much before
and i hurt him deep down inside his hurt
cause i never say
"i love you " "i miss you"

deep down.. i will always miss you dummy..
friends forever!! love you.. ^^

Love the way you lie
by: Rhianna
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that¡¯s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that¡¯s alright because I love the way you lie,love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can¡¯t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it¡¯s a still night in my wind pipe
I can¡¯t breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it¡¯s like I¡¯m in flight
High off the law, drunk from my hate,
It¡¯s like I¡¯m huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I¡¯m about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going? I¡¯m leaving you
No you ain¡¯t. Come back we¡¯re running right back.
Here we go again
It¡¯s so insane cus when its going good its going great.
I¡¯m superman with the wind at his back
Shes Louis Lane but when its bad its awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whos that dude? I don¡¯t even know his name
I laid hands on him, I¡¯ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don¡¯t know my own strength
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that¡¯s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that¡¯s alright because I love the way you lie, love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you¡¯re with me
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit me
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them those chills you used to get me
Now you¡¯re getting fucking sick of looking at him
You swore you¡¯d never hit him; never do nothing to hurt him
Now you¡¯re in each other¡¯s face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other¡¯s hair, scratch claw hit him
Throw him down pin him
So lost in the moments when you¡¯re in them
It¡¯s a race that¡¯s the culprit controls your boat
So they say you¡¯re best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don¡¯t know you cus today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over it¡¯s a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don¡¯t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
I guess that¡¯s why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that¡¯s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that¡¯s alright because I love the way you lie,love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know he said things hit things that we didn¡¯t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns same routine
But your temper¡¯s just as bad as mine is
You¡¯re the same as me
But when it comes to love you¡¯re just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn¡¯t you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship wasn¡¯t as crazy as it seemed
Maybe that¡¯s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don¡¯t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eye ball
Next time I¡¯m pissed, I lay my fist at the drywall Next time.
There won¡¯t be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I¡¯m tired of the games I just want her back
I know I¡¯m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im¡¯a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that¡¯s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that¡¯s alright because I love the way you lie,love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Thursday, September 2, 2010

What You Mean to Me

What You Mean To Me
Album : StarStruck
Singer : Sterling Knight

Can't blame you, for thinking
That you never really knew me at all
I tried to, deny you
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong
I thought I was protecting you
From everything that I go through
But I know that we got lost along the way
Here I am, with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
Come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me
What you mean to me
Just know that, I'm sorry
I never wanted to make you feel so small
A story is, just beginning
We'll let the truth break down these walls
Oh, yeah, yeah
And every time I think of you
I think of how you pushed me through
And showed me how much better I could be
Here I am, with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
Come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me
Yeah, yeah

You make me feel like I'm myself
Instead of being someone else
I wanna live that everyday
You say what no one else will say
You know exactly how to get to me
You know it's what I need
It's what I need
Yeah
Here I am, with all my heart
I hope you understand(I hope you understand)
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
So, come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me
What you mean to me


another nice song.. i love it a lot ..

i have some problems again lately.. haiz.. i really don't know how to solve it .. cause i don't know what is the problem.. me?
there is some questions that make me almost helpless..
"what do him meant to you?"
"why can't you just let him go?"
"why did you care so much for him?"
well, i don't know what is the real answer.. sorry.. i can't give you a real answer.. is that because of guilt? or what?
sorry for being such a bad person to anyone of you for all these time.. i didn't meant to be one.. i tried but it never seems to work either way..

what you mean to me? i don't know.. i hope i can find a reason soon enough..