the closer the date to 11th the more i afraid.. i don't know why.. well.. i don't show it out in front of my family so that they won't get so worry while they already worry sick about the idea i being so far and without them around me.. haix.. i wonder since when they will realise that i can take care of myself.. haix.. i guess this is not going to happend.. so sad..
why am i so afraid of the unknown? i thought i am strong enough to know about the unknown cause i always go to the unknown place.. well.. sort of.. the difference is i always with my family when i went to unknown places.. which mean i am more secure.. and being there alone with friends wasn't reeally a bad idea though..
I don't want to deny that i am afraid of the unknown.. and the unknown is so mystery.. haha.. i am more afraid that i can't catch up the study more than the environment that i am going to cause i know i will going to be fine.. i am really really worry about my studies.. i wonder how my sister can manage it so well? what if i don't know a single thing the teacher is talking? what if i can't catch up and fell behind? what if.. haix.. and everyone (well, not everyone.. haha.. just 2 friends) said that i am completely ubsurd about it.. and promise that i will catch up.. and they don't doubt it at all that i am going to have any problems in study.. but to be honest, i AM worry.. my mum said she is worry about my studies too.. she said my english is really bad.. and she worry i can't catch up.. all of her words make me shaken worst than the day before i went to the JPA interview..
everyone have their own thing to worry.. while i am worry about the study things.. there are lots of bunch of friends are really really really nervous about it.. well.. i can't laugh at them cause they want to do everything right.. that's why they kept throwing lots of quetions to me.. haha.. i can't blame them and i always happy to help.. hhaa.. don't worry about offend me.. but somehow.. something i really don't know.. please don't question me like i am the god or the senior who had been there before.. i really don't know.. cause i never been there before and certainly don't know how is the studies run... even my sister is a senior, i don't ask many questions about matricualtion cause i don't really want to know.. i know i will be fine and that's why i don't ask... and please don't be mad at me while i don't want to ask my sister.. cause she has her own temper to manage.. and please please don't throw me to the sharks.. hehe.. i still want to live.. hehe..
afraid about something seems to be a good start.. haha.. and that's why i am so excited about the unknown.. i feel kinda chalange to be awway from my family and move on in the unknown future.. that's why i have the feeling that all of us is going to be alright.. and i confident to the unknown world.. and i am going to be tough for myself and be good enough for the unknown..
"i will be fine, don't worry" i always say to myself..
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