stressful

Stress. I hadn't really get stressfull since the end of the SPM exam and the day me and some other human were working out on something. For the last few months, my time are wasted like the paper in this world, not really wasted but it is kinda wasting of time. It just during that time i wasn't have anything to worry about. Even my SPM result is coming out doesn't bother me at all like i was wonder how can i manage to do it. Somehow, i am now scare. Scare will be a nice and perfecr word to say rather than nervous. I am scare about the JPA interview. I was totally not in confidence at all but my mum seem to be perfectly confident with me!! My god!! not again. I really hope she wasn't put any faith in me!! not this time. urgh!! it is really frustrated to think that i am going to let her down AGAIN... i can't imagine that. she was keep on and on telling me this and that with hope, that's the problem. hope. the last thing i wanted from her. i am really afraid that i wil hurt her agian and she should know that the chances are as thin as the tiny rain. oh god.. please bless me...

not only the interview thing had make me stressfull. The scholarship thing and the matrix thing. They did put their "help" to make me stressfull. I was really worry and tired to do this things. It is like doing the thing that would give me good opportunty to improvce myself and yet the chances are so slim. I wish the chances will be fatter than i am. but i can't help it. I am not good enough. I always does. Like my mother said. I always not good enough. This future thing is getting my nerve on. haix.. but what can i do anyway ecspect grunting here and there. I had to solve it my own. that's the matter.

and somehow, the luck is not my side. i fall sick at this moment. haix.. I don't really know what to say. I am sick and my voice is way too "nice" to talk. urgh.. i hate it..

stress.. stress and stress.. it never end and never less....