29/07/2012

Today, I waited and waited
I am just waiting you to come back

Not feeling well today
Don't know why
But then I still have to do the assignment
Therefore, I went to campus before he back
We end up at Xiao Xie at the end cause MMU was suffering no electricity day

There is nothing I can drink there
No ice, no coffee, no chocolate, no tea
Great, I can eat grass there
At the end, I ordered a lime honey (less sweet)
End up, I added 3 times of water it still SWEET!
And I forgotten that lime = sour
End up, I am so suffering right now

After back, he cooked dinner
He did mistakes again
I really don't get it
The instruction is simple
"take the rice in the refrigerator and steam it"
But he didn't get it right
Lazy perhaps
No comment

Then after dinner I told him something that I already knew will pissed him off
Then things just goes beyond control
I feel like slapping him on the spot but I pitied him
I was thinking "Are we really meant to be together?"
I mean, why should we have to quarrel everytime we meet?
You didn't even called me when you are away from me

I cried last night when I talked with Justin
Cause I feel very tired and suffer of this relationship
I worked very hard to make things better
And at the end I cried a lot of time
No matter how hard it is
All I want is for you to care about me
To love me
To accompany me
I don't mind of others
But can you really do this?
Will you able to really really really ignore others and just to love me?

When you hug me and kissed me on the forehead gentle-ly 
You know why I cried?
Cause it had been really LONG that you really really give me the feelings that  you care
And when you said that you want to accompany for awhile
I cried, and you know why?
Cause you really really didn't accompany me very quiet a long time
All my time are occupied with him, Justin, Rene, Siok Ching
YOU?

At the end, I guess I cried too long and too harsh
Things got too far
I got sudden asthma
I was like "OH SHIT!"
Fine, this just got too too crazy
I really can't breath and I started feel cold
My hands and legs starts anesthesia
Great~!
I felt like I am really gonna killed by my parents soon if I really didn't settled this and end up in hospital
It took me a very long time to cool down myself
No matter how I cool down myself
I still can't breath
I can breath through my mouth but the air doesn't get into the lungs
What the F***!!
I started to worry caused I started to feel dizzy
What if I really fainted?!
SHIT~!
I told myself to hang on
Cause "NO HOSPITAL"!

After around half an hour
Everything is better
Dizziness and tiredness
I slept for like 2 hours? Maybe
I don't really sure
All I know is I am cold but I am damn sweating like hell
Then when I woke up
My stomach is damn killing me
End up in the washroom twice - diarrehea
SHIT!
I think that might because I missed my two-days medicine
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!
Everything goes wrong that moment
Asthma + Stomach ache + Menstrual + Assignment + Presentation
You really want me dead didn't you?

Then Juin How found that I got asthama
He really really going to kill me
Both of us got asthma
But he is more serious than I do
NOW, I am more serious than HIM
GREAT!!!!
I am so dead
And it is late 2am
I have not yet sleep!
What the HELL!
I am just going to be dead soon!