I miss him

I actually had fallen for him from the beginning
I lied to myself for like  years
Until I really thought I didn't
I really thought I've had get rid of you
I pretended I'm fine
Until 19.05.2013

I said I want to let you go
I want, but I don't think I can
But you know what's ironic?
There are others right now
I guess as you said our position had switched

I knew you no longer love me
I knew you had let me go
It's always her after all
I wish it's not too late
But I am

He said that it's different as you guys are not couple yet
It's not me for being the 3rd parties
But
You don't want me anymore
It's only me who think too much

You know everything is fine
Perfectly fine UNTIL that day
Really until that day
I really did wrong that day
I shouldn't have feel something for you
I agreed with the saying
"You gave him a heart, he stepped it and return back to you"
"my sweet little gurl, you had been played, why are you so careless?"
"You are definitely  than you imagine"

You know what's the main problem?
I fell for you
And when I lied, he said, " Jezzzz, don't lie gurl, I know you too many years already"
Now, IF only I can stop loving you
IF only I can stop thinking about you
But I wish I can

What Jack felt is "Why are you still headed to someone that doesn't love you anymore?"
"people had chosen others over you, people don't want you anymore remember?"
Yeah, he don't want me anymore
I get it
I am so fucked up and get myself to this mess again and again
I promised, I mean we promised each other this is the last time
I know you going to keep it
And I know it
There is nothing I can do
Particularly when there are someone else
There are nothing I can do

The only reason that you gave me is "There are too many things happened between us"
And what he told me is "it's just excuses for not loving you"
Guess what?
I felt I deserve it
As much as I did to you last time
I deserve it
Karma, that's why