Moon Festival

This is a festival that normally people gather with their family
Guess I didn't eat mooncake made by my mum since foundation
Not sure I still remember how it taste like
Kinda miss it

When I miss them
I called them
But end up got scold
And it's really frustrated when it's not really my fault
What to do
I am a "big sister" in my family

starting from tomorrow
I will be a tough lady
Focus ONLY on study
I want to be
TO be better
TO be stronger
So that I won't get hurt easily

I really wish that
Sometime I can be strong and get everything done by myself

Just like what happen today
It's another huge success!!
I did take bus ALONE to MITC
Well, to normal people, it's abit childish
But to me
It's like dream comes true
As I never take bus Alone before

Even it's scary
Even it's not easy
Even it took me a fever as "compliment"
I learned something
Another plus point!

I've been well taken care by my parents since I was child
Never take bus alone
Never go anywhere alone
Never go home late
Never stay out late
Never got into rain
Never eat Ramlee burger
Never
Never
Never a lot of things
But I tried when I reached here

I learn to take care of myself
I learn to be tough
I learn to be independent

Until I met him

I started to rely on him
I started to be weak

I still remember
I said something like this before to him
"I will survive better without you"
But can I now?

There had been a serious crisis lately between me and him
I worried that I can't survive without him
I worried that I am not save without him
I can't life without him

But there is another HIM
It's like I relying on both of them

It's not fair to either one of them

That's why I want to be tough
To be who I am
To see clearly who I am
TO see clearly what I want
THen only I can choose

I might end up cold-hearted awhile
To protect myself

I might end up tougher and serious
Sometime funny
Just to make sure I get along with people
Just to make sure I am fine among people

I want to prove that I am good without anybody
Even my asthma
Even my illness
Even if I die one day
I won't regret of trying
I won't regret
At least I done what I want to do


After all, it's moon festival
should be happy
And I had a wonderful memories lately

Not sure whether it is good or bad
So I just have to let it be
Not really want to care that much now
Just want to follow my feelings
No more logic
Until exam finish
Until it's time to settle everything



Happy moon festival!