Grastric

Pain~~~~

现在的心情

糟到快爆了
想哭去哭不出来
都不懂自己干吗geng在那里假装自己没事

无言 ~

好像出去走走
但是又怕预言变真的

困在这里
迟早闹出人命来

唉~~无奈~~

One of my Terrible Day

Well, I woke up and rushing for my tutorial homework around 9am
As I slept around 2am the night before
I just feeling like I am "flying" all around

After class, I went out to buy things and deal things with the vendors
Only that I realize I missed my booth duty
Argh
It's really really.. Haizzz.. don't know how to say
There are a slightly moment where I just want to just quit everything
Really

I don't like people to cover me
I want to help
But I can't
The more I help the more mistakes I made
Damn it ~!

Doing things for whole day
Then tuition
Then meeting

Get into the rain in the between
Get frozen in the meeting room
Then freeze by the strong wind during supper time
Then bathing half way no water
Waiting for the water to come is really torturing and cold

Today is really not my day
I think I really torture myself today
Tomorrow is presentation
I hope I can cope with it

Good luck
Wish for the best luck

I am NOT a super woman

There are something happening in Prom Night event
Seriously, I didn't know what's wrong
But I really don't like it

What the hell
Who she think she is?
You just a girlfriend of the director
Don't think that you are so good

Really
Joseph told me about your story
So
Don't try to show off that you are good
Come one, you are not even reach my fingertips

Now everyone consider me as a bad guy
you have your wish
But I know I didn't do anything wrong

You can just ignore me just like what I am ignoring you
It is your lost
If you didn't trust me so be it

I use my sincerely and commitment to do this event
Like it or not
I am here
Not trying to fight with you
But just trying to save the event

Really, sometime I just wish that I can just say "Son of bitch, shut your mouth up!"
But I consider you as a friend
Not sure whether you are treating me one
But sometime it is really hard to be patient with you





Regarding tennis club
Honestly, after what I discuss with Yao Yi
I not sure whether should I stay there anymore

I am not close with the committees
I don't like playing tennis anymore
It makes me think of something that I wasn't want to think off
I have somebody that hates me in the club

I don't really want to go back there
I am not fit in without him

Honestly I don't know what's the purpose for me staying there
Looking and seeing somebody that hates me so much
Or worst somebody that you trying to forget and let go
Is not really a good idea

Honestly, I not sure what am I doing now
I am clearly not worth for anybody to fight for

Just like what others said
I am not good enough
I am just a rubbish where people think I am a diamond

What happen today
Honestly I forget
But I don't know why
People sound like it's my fault for not getting a partition and a table
I did booked that day after meeting
I didn't even delayed
FMD didn't have any tables and partitions
Not my fault!
I didn't own MMU
Why everyone like accusing me?

Maybe I shouldn't trying to be tough and promise them I will try to find one for them with other clubs
Sometime trying too hard just make myself in tough situation
Tennis club and prom night is just the same
People expecting you

But when you did one wrong
They blame you like you are just a useless person

I am just a stupid girl


I wonder why I am so down lately
I become really sensitive to what people said and what people do
Is it stress?


I am really not a super woman
I didn't plan for my life
I didn't choose what I been to
But really, I am kinda unhappy lately
I can't talk to anyone
share with anybody
Kinda sad isn't it?
Or should I say I am so stupid?

I exclude him from my favourite list
I keep my promise
I know he don't wish to see me or near close to me
Nor do I
I am not ready

I am not quite sure why I am not ready
Maybe I don't like making myself digging the big hole in the chest
I don't like to feel the pain
I don't even like to flash back

Whatever it is
I wish I can go home
With somebody loving me taking care of me

I miss them so much
I cried sometime in the middle of the night
Flashing back on how they taking care of me when I was sick or when I was exam

I am not a superwoman
I am just a girl that trying hard to prove that she is good
I just trying not to let people look down on me
I want to prove that I am worthwhile
I am a better person

At the end, I am not
I failed
I am really not a superwoman

You and Me

promises

I made my promise
And I have to keep it

Suddenly feel that it is really hard
Still..

I promise you and I will do it
Can you?
Or you already forget?

Still Not Recovering

Maybe I should just end up sleeping 24 hours
Damn~
Head still spinning
I can't take medicine
And I don't want go to hospital

Damn~
Pray hard to recover

Tired Like Hell

Seriously, I am tired like hell
Events and homework
Really can pengsan

Yesterday AGM really frustrated me to the Max!
Damn~
Really frustrated and mad until I can feel the difficulty of breathing
At the end I say nothing and ignore things that not under my control

Sudden fever last night
Can't sleep at all
Don't know why
Is it because of the stress and stuff or just because I am hell not feeling well
I cried
I just wish that I am home and my parents will just fetch me to see my doctor
But there is nothing I can do here in Malacca
Even though I know crying is not helping
Yet, I am just like a baby
Immature

Yet, there is nobody for me to find
At the end, I called Justin
I am damn sorry
Well, I am not really expecting this
Damn~
I think I did something wrong

He was at KL Movida that time
After the call, he rush back to Melacca within 1 hour
Damn~
Well, I didn't ask him to
And I told him NOT TO
But still 3am he reached my house but that time I think I fall asleep already

I am so sorry for letting you drive 140km/h after you drink
I am so sorry
I didn't really mean to

I just can say I am glad to have a brother that cares about me
But
I don't want another best friend that cannot be friend anymore
I lost 2 I don't want to lost another one

This time
I am going to protect my friendship
Not letting it turning to another sad story

刺痛的心

Don't Want Don't Want!!

I Wish I can Cry Now

Justin, you said I can cry in front of you
You said you will be there for me
But
I'm sorry that I can't
I'm really not used to do that

But
Now
I wish I can just cry out

Valentine

First Valentine
But seems like it's nothing big deal about it

I just want to make things special
I tried to make it a special day
even I didn't want any present

I tried
But didn't think you have the same concept as I did
Maybe you should know that not flowers or gifts will give me what I want
All I want is that you want to make it a special day

I cleaned your room
Cooked your favourite dishes
What did you do beside ignoring me?

Happy Valentine Day by the way

Turbo for MA

It took me 2 days (most of the time I was fulling around)to finish the chapters
Well, I still left 2 chapters untouched
Still working on the chapters before it

It's late at night
I still have to study
Good luck

今年运势

看来今年要特别的小心咯
被算出来今年会有路杀
就是说，出门会遇到不好的事情
跌倒，车祸等等等等
救命啊~~
怕怕~~

还有以后不可以在一个人不开心心情不好的时候出去了
今年也说会有“不好”的事情
一个人出门会很“不好”
特别是晚上
哎哟哟~
妈妈说最好晚上不要出门
怎么可能？
出去玩都是晚上的
妈妈说遇到坏人就不好了
可怜的我 ~~

但是为了安全起见
看来今年要特别小心咯
各位要特别照顾我咯

Tough Day

幸福的瞬間

當秋天 再來的時候 妳要我 笑著去愛去擁有
就算是 再短暫的溫柔 能重逢 這仁慈已足夠
可知道 有些事有些人 停留在 發生的那天不肯走
看時光的殘酷 捨不得被遺忘 這命運我很滿足 有妳陪伴的幸福

※為妳打開 時間的鎖 讓愛自由 不被它束縛
是哭過 也掙扎過 心讓痛碾過
等那一天 落葉靜靜飄眼前 已不再傷悲
永恆終於相信了幸福的瞬間
為妳打開 時間的鎖 讓愛自由 不被它束縛
每一秒 都不後悔 我陪妳體會
過去未來輕輕重疊 請原諒甜甜的眼淚
感謝今生與妳在 幸福的瞬間 依偎

People got touched cause of love
But there are people got hurt because of love
I been through both of them
Either I hurt people or been hurt
Whatever it is
Love is something amazing
Yet something horrible that can rip you into pieces

No matter what
I know cry won't cure the pain
No matter how much it hurts
We have to learn to cure it
Even there are nobody to tell

Giving things but never want any return
Just because we care
I will keep everything deeply in my heart
Nobody will know
Cause it is what it is meant to be
None of any living things should know

Gotta Get Thing Into My Head

Things got very stress lately

Assignment

Club duty

Also catching up what I had left behind

Honestly I REALLY want to be SUPER this time

No more last minutes study

But can I actually achieve it?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - Health

Lately kinda torturing actually

I feel sleepy most of the time

So

As usual I sleep most of the time

Wake up at 8am online / movie awhile then sleep back around 10am

Wake up around 12pm for lunch online awhile sleep back around 2pm

Wake up around 4pm/5pm online awhile

Then cook dinner plus dinner

Sleep back around 9pm/10pm

This is my life lately

Not really sure what's going on

But it really sleepy

Maybe is the stomach / medicine itself

I still have tons of them to finish

And I missed one medicine just now

Damn!

I keep on having "toilet rush" (if you know what I mean) these 2 days

Argh

I have to take another medicine to "cool down" myself

I think I ate too much fried things

But did I?

I remembered I didn't take sour / spicy / fried things for like almost 1 week

Argh

I think I still in the middle to fix my health

Seriously

Things doesn't go well lately

I wonder why

But I just have to cure things one by one

No more cough + flu

So thank god, no more asthma medicine

Still have a bit gastric

Get worst whenever I miss one meal

Argh

Of course, I still have bunch of medicine left to finish

Fever sometimes which I wonder why

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2 - Homework + Clubs + Assignments

Anyhow

Things kinda mixed up together lately

Everything comes all in together

It almost make me have zero time especially when I start to watch drama

haizz

Sleeping time increase, assignment, club tasks increase, homework increase

Make me almost impossible to have extra time!!!

Things get worst when I am officially broke!

I never dare to imagine it

All my handphone are not allow to sms/call

Even my celcom reach the max limit

Dad's going to kill me SOON

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3 - Complicated Relationship

Seriously, it is worst than everything above

At least I can finished all the tasks needed to do

Or slowly recovered from all the illness I had right now

But this?!

Damn, I really wonder how should it be right now

Honestly, I have totally no idea what to do

I really messed up this time

Kinda busy lately and all of sudden unable to contact people

I guess I drive him mad actually

But I had to admit he drive me mad as well

The whole week

Seriously, I think around 4 days we didn't contact each other

I can feel the frustration in him

And honestly, this doesn't help

I admit, I am a bit selfish

I don't like the way he did to care about me so I turn up to ignore him completely

I not quiet sure how did I did the whole few days

Maybe is the drama I think

But he nearly going to kill me

But I didn't even mind for that moment

I just want to ease things up

But I think he doesn't get the point

He always want to know MORE

Not that I don't like it

I just NEVER did that

and I didn't even DO that

I guess that's a really private joke for my housemate where she thinks I will be hanging myself up

Well, part of it is true

I don't like it

But the way I completely ignore him
I think he is going to hate me forever

From the way I did to him

After what he did

Honestly, part of me is happy

At least he get rid of me

At least he has the reason to hate me somehow

It's a good start actually

But I feel sorry to him in other way

He should be my friend

But I treat him in a very nasty way

But seriously

I don't like the way he did

And I don't think none of us going to change

So

I don't think where can we head to

It had been a very tough weeks

Illness + pressure and stuff

I can say I try to put everything aside to focus things slowly and settle it

I admit

I try to escape from him cause the main part

I don't like to explain things

Or worst

I don't even want a person to care about me so much

Cause I really have nothing to give him back

But he doesn't going to help anyway

Except I just try to get myself away from him awhile

Cause I don't think I can take it anymore

Chinese New Year is coming

Home pressure is coming

Travel stress is coming as well

Don't have to mention Final Exam

I really have to get things focus

I really have to

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4 - Financially Broke

I am officially BROKE!!!

Damn!!

JPA didn't pay the fees

I have to pay part of it

and the flight tickets are damn expensive

Not to mention the expenses during my birthday

Plus my mum's birthday

Some more CNY's clothes expenses!!

Oh MY~

I really need some cai shen yeh!!!

Help~~

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5 - Things got better Today

I received my last birthday present today

From Siok Ching

Guess what?!

It's a Tamakuci!!

Honestly, I didn't see it coming!!

I kinda surprise

Cause when she said Malaysia is out of stock and she got ordered from oversea

I have not even a clue!

And yet!

Thanks!!

I guess something good finally happen after this rough days

I just wish things will get better

No matter in studies, or financial or relationship or health

Let the new year starts with a tough day but ends with a happy day!

Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you.
I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you.

- Wiz Kahlifa

sometimes you drive me nuts

Seriously, sometimes I admit I neglected you
But really
You driving me nuts
There is a sudden that I willing to just cut off everything

You know what??
I am mad
You really driving me crazy

火！

他妈的王八蛋大白疵死白木！！！